Light.
The first thing I seemed to notice was the blinding light in my eyes; I blinked, scanning the area.
I rose to my elbows and reached one hand up to the side of my throbbing head in a daze. My hand came back red. Red? I pushed through the pain and confusion, scrambling to make sense.
Where was I?
I pushed my tangled mess of fiery orange hair back, as fear seized me. I felt a deep pang in my chest, a sick feeling rising through my body. Blood thickened as ice drenched through my veins, panic clawing its way up my throat.
Where was I?!
An acrid, metallic stench filled the air, almost consuming me. I screamed.
No sound came out.
I slowly stood, dizziness overwhelming me, I blinked several times before my eyes could focus.
There I stood, in the middle of an overfilled street, chaotic. There were people everywhere, zooming past, like wild turkey's going in every direction possible.
A man in a business suit was coming in my direction; slight relief coursed through my body, but chilled me all the same. He walked so close to me, bumping my shoulder; a protest formed on the tip of my tongue, until I realised, he had not hit me to begin with. I turned towards the direction he was headed, ready to follow him.
As I took a step, dread formed like a cannonball in my stomach and then exploded a second too late. I realised that I couldn't feel my legs. As I stared down at my feet, I began to tremble; I took another step forward, but I still couldn't feel my legs. I could walk, but it felt like I was walking on a cloud. I squeezed my hands into small fists, searching for pain, as my nails bit into my flesh.
Nothing. No pain, whatsoever.
Is this what sleep paralysis felt like? No. I wasn't asleep, or I didn't think I was.
While I was busy figuring out why I could not feel my body, I lost sight on the man. Great! There goes my only chance of finding out where I was. As I looked around, through all the nameless faces, I spotted a woman, maybe in her late thirties, holding two children by their elbows, as they began to cross the street.
"Hey! Could you please help me, I need to" –the women didn't even spare a glance in my direction, walking to the other side of the road. She scolded the boy for dropping his chocolate ice-cream, which now took residency on my feet. I wiggled my toes, still not feeling my feet.
I glanced up into the sky, a wide, never-ending expanse of blue, I was hypnotised by the intensity of it, trying to pinpoint the exact colour.
* * *
When I was younger, I used to stare into the sky, losing myself by its magnitude. I seemed to find myself feeling very insignificant in the world, realising that there were so many people in this world and only a small amount of them, knew of my existence. I did not want to die, without anyone knowing me; sure my family would never forget me, I guess. But that was never enough for me. I wanted to make myself known to this world. And that's what I did; I created the world which I knew would be perfect for me. I worked hard on impressing many people, being accepted into the society which would provide me with acknowledgement; slowing making my way to the top of the food chain. Once I reached the top, I used a lot of my energy, securing my place, losing a lot of my friends and family along the way. But who cares, they were not providing me with the life I deserved, in fact, they were the ones holding me back. I wanted the spotlight and the fame; because that was the only way.
