Mistakes You Can't Erase

Chapter 1

College.

Going to college had never been a dream of mine. Interacting with and living in the same place as complete strangers? No thank you.

But, alas, here I am.

My name is Amy Raudenfeld and to say I have social anxiety would be an understatement. Up until my freshman year of high school, I was homeschooled by my father, Hank Raudenfeld. I began homeschooling at the age of 6, a year later than the average kid, but I had stalled starting school for long enough.

My dad was the only the person who both understood and showed care for my social awkwardness, considering I got the quality from him. My mother, Farrah, on the other hand, was a much less caring and understanding, constantly urging me to make friends or attend public school.

The summer before high school, my father and I were in a car crash together. I survived, but because of the fatal damage to the driver's side of the car, my father died almost instantly.

I can still remember watching the twinkle in his eye fade away before I lost consciousness myself.

I know deep down that the drunk driver in the other car was at fault for my father's death; but to this day, I can't help but blame myself for his passing.

After my father was gone, my mother basically jumped onto the opportunity of sending me to public school, changing my whole world. Before I could object to my mother's decision, I was enrolled into Hester High, and thrown to the wolves with no instruction as to how to survive high school.

The idea of my mother ever finding another man to replace my father had never crossed my mind, until she introduced me to Bruce Cooper.

In my sophomore year of high school, just a year after my father had passed, my mother began searching for someone to "make our family whole again", as she phrased it.

Bruce had a daughter that was the same age as me, Lauren. Lauren and I were polar opposites; my hobbies included isolating myself in my room, reading books, and scrolling aimlessly through tumblr. Hers, on the other hand, included having numerous friends over each weekend, attending parties, and being one of Hester High's most popular girls. Over the years, Lauren and I kept our distance from each other; only exchanging slight conversation around the house or at the dinner table. She didn't acknowledge me at school, fearing that any association with me would hurt her precious ego or popularity stance. It wasn't hard to hide the fact that we were stepsisters, since our last names were different.

My mother asked me once if I would consider changing my last name and becoming a Cooper for good. That was the first and only time I ever yelled at my mother, baffled at how ignorant she could be. My last name was all I really had left of my dad, and I wasn't going to let that go so easily. After that, she never asked me about it again.

...

I now stood in the enrollment hall of The University of Texas, a rather large and intimidating school. Thanks to my lack of friends and social life throughout high school, I had a lot of free time to study and maintain a straight A student status through all 4 years at Hester High. This was used to my advantage when it was time to start applying for colleges. I, personally, had no desire to attend college; but, since my mother attended The University of Texas herself, she made it a personal mission to make sure I had the same college experience as she did.

As I stood in the rather lengthy line, waiting to be assigned to my dorm room, I let my eyes roam the room in search for friendly faces.

A group of what appeared to be jocks gathered across the room in a loud hodgepodge, giving each other high fives as they reunited. Friends rushed into each other's arms, obviously excited to see each other after their summer vacation.