The Broken Werewolves: Forbidden Law (BxB)

Chapter 16: Mom's Kindness

Chapter 16
Mom's Kindness

 Marcus and I spend a little more time, wanting to know more about what happened. He has brought up the name Cloud several times while we're talking. He has told me that the Great Alpha has been doing what he can to protect the pack and all, but I'm not interested in any of those information. Well, a little, but still, I shouldn't be. We take sips of coffee as we talk, occasional glances at the door, or around us, making sure that nobody's eavesdropping to our conversation.

It's a natural trait of me to worry about things I should not care about. Even though Cloud and the others have bullied me, beat me up, and broken me, I still care about them. I still care about him. There are so many reasons for me to hate him, but I can't just hate him. And I hate myself for it.

Just hearing those words from Marcus, those stories about Cloud, it makes me feel sick. I suddenly want to vomit, to sulk in the corner and cry, or to just die. Maybe if I die, then I wouldn't have to worry about these things, about him. Looking at the clock, it's already 3 in the afternoon. We have been talking for several hours now, and the more we talk, the more I see how horrible I am. Just like a monster. It is unusual of me to have this kind of thoughts, but I can't help it.

Marcus stands up, thanks me for listening, and gives his best contact number to reach him out in case I want to know more. He also tells me that he's not going to give up on pursuing me on helping them, on helping the werewolves. Nodding at him, we both shake hands and Marcus turns around on his heels and heads toward the main door of the house, ready to take off. However, my voice stops him.

"Wait," I say to him, walking near him. I just want to know one more thing. Gulping, I muster up the courage to ask him about the Great Alpha, and he seems to know what I'm going to ask but he waits for the question. "Did you really mean it? About the Great Alpha regretting everything?" I hate how my voice sounds. It makes me look weak. I feel vulnerable. I look hurt. I sound hurt.

He smiles a sad smile at me and nods. "He really did regret everything. He hates himself for hurting you, for breaking you, for rejecting you, for letting you go. You don't know how many times he has talked to me about you. And every time he talks to us about you, he'd say that you don't deserve him at all, but would do everything to have you back in his life. Believe me, after you left, that's when he realized how dumb he was. That's when he realized that you're his world. That's when he realized that he made the dumbest decision."

Unable to speak, I slightly nod at him and Marcus goes off the main door, leaving me in such state. I slowly take a seat on the sofa, looking at a distance, thinking of Marcus' words and statements about the Great Alpha. Is it true that he regretted everything? As much as I want to believe those, there's something inside me that tells me to not believe it.

I'm scared, I admit to myself.

I'm scared of everything. The what-ifs and whys are bugging me to the core. As the clock ticks by, I know I'm slowly falling apart, breaking once again, heart being torn apart into million pieces. The emotions are so overwhelming that a tear slips out of my eyes, and soon, I begin to cry. I pour out everything in a cry. I thought I had no reason to cry again, but I was wrong. Just when I thought I couldn't more broken than ever. I want to laugh, to smash things, just to let out the strong emotions here in my heart. I feel sick, betrayed. I feel everything that I should not be feeling. He rejected me. I've forgiven him many times in my life, but I just couldn't handle it. I can't. This time, I don't know if there's a place in my heart for forgiveness. I'm scarred for life. I'm loner. I'm the outcast. I'm the broken one. I am always the broken one.

Mom enters the living room, looking happy and all, and when she sees me, she immediately runs in my direction, kneels down, and asks me what happened. A lump has formed in my throat. I want to speak, to tell her everything that has happened, about my nightmares, but I can't. I force myself to open my mouth and tell the story, but it seems like the words have vanished inside my head and I can't form coherent thoughts.

As what mothers always do when they see their children in pain, Mom wraps her arms around me protectively and tightly. She caresses my hair as she says soothing words at me, like everything's going to be fine - I hope so, and don't worry, we're here for you. So far, Mom doesn't question me why I'm home early, considering I'm crying myself out to death. I clutch her shoulder, pressing my cheek onto his shoulder as I cry more.

"Ma, why does everything hurt?" I ask her as bury my face into her neck. She kisses my temple and rubs my back, rocking me back and forth as she tightens her arms around me. "Why does everything have to be this way?"

"Things happen for a reason," she says to me, still rubbing my back. "You may not understand it right now, but you will soon. You just have to wait and wait and wait until the answer comes facing you. Just be strong, Kieran. You'll get through this. Just hold on."

I hiccup. This kind of moments in my life, Furion would sure give me best advices. But he's not here and he will never be here with me. Unless I get to find him as soon as possible.

I want to understand everything now, why certain things happen for a reason. It would be much better if it would be explained first before it happens.

For a moment, I just sit there with Mom hugging me, staring at a far distance, mind running million thoughts. I don't know when I stopped crying, I just know I did. Tears are not stinging my eyes anymore, and my heart feels heavy as well as my whole body. Still dizzy, I try to stand up but fall on my knees, Mom's arms still wrapped around me.

"Kieran!" I hear Mom shouts my name as I fall onto the ground, eyes shutting closed as my body hits the carpeted floor. Muffled voices, and my mind goes blank, heart stopping, feeling numb

My eyes shot open and I see a familiar ceiling. I have been staring on that same ceiling ever since we got here. A pillow is tucked on my side and I feel myself smile, knowing that Mom has put that pillow on my side. When I try to get up, a throbbing in my head greets me and I groan, falling down on the bed. There's a glass of water sitting on the nightstand, beside the picture frame, I slowly get up and grab the water, wanting to wet my dried throat. I gulp the water down and once done, I place the glass down back on the nightstand.

The door opens, revealing my brother Dave with a worried look etched on his face. As soon as he sees me awake, he gives me a smile that doesn't reach his eyes and walks towards me and sits on the bed.

"Are you okay?" He asks me in a low tone, placing his hand on my left leg as his eyes pierce through mine. I nod at him to assure him that I'm now okay, and that there's nothing to worry about. "Mom just left to get some medicines in the pharmacy. She told me to lookout for you. What happened?"

Shaking my head, not wanting to tell him, Dave frowns at me and sighs, not wanting to argue with me. Silence takes over the room, and only the sound of our breathing can be heard. I look at my lap, suddenly finding it interesting, fingers fumbling with each other. Awkwardness has become thick, lingering in the air, hovering above us.

I hate being awkward with my brother. I mean, we literally tell each other everything, but my story is an exception. He wouldn't understand. He'd think I'm going crazy if I told the tale about werewolves. That or he'd laugh at me.

"I'll tell you soon," I assure him, making him look up at me. "But right now, I'm okay and no need to worry." He doesn't seem so satisfied of my assurance, but I'm not going to be fazed by it. I hate being this way to him, but it's not the right time.

"Okay," he says, standing up. "Rest. You still need rest, or I can cook for you."

"I don't the house to be caught on fire," I joke at him, chuckling.

"Well, no need," he snickers, putting his hand on his hips as he looks at me with amusing eyes. "I'm already on fire. I'm so hot."

"Get out of my room, idiot." We both laugh and he goes off my room.