Beautiful

Four

Emily.
I stared at my ceiling thinking of what to do... I still love Nash, but I'm scared that he will reject me. I know I shouldn't love him after all the shit he has done to me, but I can't help it. He was amazing when we were together, he did everything right and knew exactly what to say.

Almost perfect.

It's like we fit together... In our own little puzzle. He is the most perfect person I know. His accent, personality, looks, fuck... Just him in general makes me so happy... A kind of happy I've never felt before I started getting feelings for him.

Love! My mind screams.

You love him! Not Sam, Cameron, anyone! You love Nash.

It's terrifying, knowing someone who gives you happiness could leave at any second, leaving you broken and torn down, knowing that someone so kind could be so intentional to break you, that this one person, that you think you fit so well with, could think the exact opposite, and while you're falling so hard for them, they could not have the slightest bit of feeling for you.
That's why they call them "crushes"... Because when they don't feel the same, it crushes you.

I grabbed my phone to check the time

2:23am

I pulled myself up from my bed, and started to make my way to Nash's room; hoping that he's awake.

I knocked lightly on his door, not wanting to wake him if he was asleep.

"Yeah?" I heard him whisper/yell inside his room.

I walked in, his lamp was on without the shade, giving the room a yellow/orange look, he was sitting on his bed laptop on his lap and confusion with a mix of delight on his face.

"Yeah, Emily?" He asked.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked, a little over a whisper.

"Sure! Come sit!" He beamed, a big smile on his face.

The corners of my lips curved as I started to walk over to his bed and laid with him.

"You okay?" He asked, the smile slowly starting to drop.

"Not really, there's a lot on my mind." I said, again just above a whisper.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" He asked, looking at me with worry clouding in his stunning blue eyes.

"I don't know..." I start, " I'm scared of your reaction."

"My reaction? Emily, what did you do?" He asked in a monotone voice.

"I'm doing something that I probably shouldn't be doing... But I can't really help it.."

"Emily..." He trailed off, looking at me with a strong sense of worry in his eyes.

"I'm... I'm falling in love with you again." I said, a little below a whisper as I look down at my hands and start fumbling with them a bit.

"I..." He stops, thinking about something, then continues "don't know what to say..." He said.

After a couple minutes of an awkward silence and me fumbling with my hands, he lifted my head up and looked straight into my eyes, not a sign of worry in his features that there previously was, there was more hope and delight.

"But, I do know that I've been in love with you ever since I saw you, my heart never gave me a break." He said, searching my eyes for any emotion.

I didn't say anything back, I just hooked my arms around his neck and slowly pushed my lips against his.

-

-

After a while we eventually stopped making out and just laid together, which is better then any other love, ever. I always just felt so nice and warm when I cuddled with Nash. It was the best feeling in the world. Every so often he would whisper things into my ear like,

"You're beautiful."

"Be mine."

And my personal favourite...

"I love you"

When Nash said that to me I felt like the best person in the world. Like I was better, special even.

When I was with him all my insecurities become my best features. He makes me feel like I'm...

Beautiful.

"Babe." he whispered, kissing my shoulder.

"Yes?" I asked, turning to look at him.

"When I look at you, it's like everything else turns grey and stops, like you're the centre of my attention. I was and am so happy that you said you love me again because I've loved you this whole time. I can't say it enough, Emily. I love you! and I know that I always will! I promise you that. until the day I die I will love you unconditionally!"

I stared at him, speechless. I don't know what to say, he has never explained how much he loves me... he's just said it and left it at that.

tears brimmed my eyes, as I smiled and looked at him, he looked at me with love and something else that I cannot explain filling his eyes...it's not lust, but something more then that. like it wants to be lust, but it knows that it can't be... it knows that it has to be something more then that, it can't just be lust.

fire almost, as warm and calming as a fire, not a forest fire or anything like that... a calming camp fire, that you tell stories at.

"I love you, Nash. I don't know how to explain it like you just did, but I know that I love you" I said in a calm voice, looking at his beautiful blue eyes.

he brings me closer and presses his lips against mine, once again before telling me,

"Go to sleep, love. it's getting late" and at that, he sent me a warm smile, turned around, and fell asleep.

_____
edited.

I thought you guys deserved a bigger chapter because I haven't been updating much and all the updates that I did have were very short. I hope you enjoy it! ❤️