Call of the void

III

I unlocked my front door my hands shaking as the hinges crunched. I stepped into my crowded flat the silence pierced my ears and the harsh realisation hit that I had just tried to commit suicide. I felt a mix of failure and relief as I pulled my coat off and curled up on the crisp fake leather sofa as black as the nights sky; as black as the void. I pulled my scarlet throw over my bear feet and grabbed my phone out of my pocket, I couldn't concentrate. I padded into the kitchen my bare feet cold on the tiles.

"Food." I whispered under my breath opening the fridge and countless cupboards; nothing. I settled with an ice lolly I found in the back of the freezer since the shop wasn't open.
I returned to my spot on the sofa replacing the throw onto my feet.
I sighed.
The dim light of my dieing light bulb flickered and the wind rattled the plasticky flat windows, I thought about the familiar glow of the fire at home how I missed it. I stood up and binned the frosted plastic left over from my ice lolly and pushed open the stiff door to my bedroom. As I laid on my bed the mattress springs creaked and I pulled the moth eaten duvet up to my neck for warmth. I shivered as the wind came through the gaps in my windows and I heard the rain start to drip into the bucket I had next to the neglected fire place in the hall. My flat needed work but I loved it as if it was my home; it was my home in a sense that I had nowhere else but there to keep me from the harsh storms of winter and he judging eyes of rich strangers as they passed in the light of the street lamps. I slept on the thought of how lucky I was to have a roof over my head. And I am grateful now that I didn't know what was to come...