Deep Within

Gone

Sometimes I feel alone and empty like there's nobody that cares about me, I guess the world is not fair its filled with hate.

I always thought life was good and never thought I could lose the ones I love. Its been 5 years since my dad died, it still hurts me to think about it after not being able to say goodbye.

If I had the chance to go back in time and change the hurtful moments, every time I felt sad, like nobody cared about me.

When people tell me im ugly or im slow, that I can't do something that I love it hurts me but I guess people don't care what I feel.

When I tried to hide away from the pain I felt, I tried to be strong not to let anyone see me cry.

But the story is the sad part the promises I never kept, every moments when I've been called mean but im not mean its all because of the moment I lost my dad.

It was about 6:00 in the morning my mom got a phone call and they said they can't talk about it over the phone I remember her telling us to get dressed she didn't really tell us why.

We arrived at the hospital I was asking my mom "what's wrong and what's going on" she didn't really tell me.

That afternoon my grandparents told me that he was in the hospital and he was hurt really bad.

We broke down in tiers. 3 or 4 days later they told me he wasn't gonna make it and they had to pull the plug.

After that I didn't really know who I could talk to or trust because I told him everything.

Talking with someone else isn't the same.

I live in GA now trying to do better and become a better sister and help my dreams grow so I can do something with my life.

I've always had the thought of dropping out of school.

But I guess that's not the best solution, the way to all my problems.

I never really told anyone how I feel or why im the way I am because I feel like they won't understand. Most of the time im always in my room away from my sisters and brother its not because I don't like them or don't want to talk to them its the fact that they make me feel alone like there not supporting my choices that I make.

I like talking to people that get me and understand the way I feel.

But I know there's people that care and that has my back 100% and supports my choices people that believe in me.

Its hard watching my mom struggle to find love and be happy again. I guess ill never understand why its so hard when she's gorgeous with an amazing personality, but we have the world filled with heartbreak and promises that's always breaking.