Feels like falling

Chapter 1

For as long as he lived he would never forget the pitiful looks his friends sent him from the car as he was left standing by the now closed door, his bag left forgotten at his feet, trying to understand what had just happened.

It wasn't supposed to end like this. He shouldn't be left feeling like his chest was about to implode as his heart tried to force its way into his throat.

He could honestly say he had never felt this way before. Like the floor had been ripped out from under his feet and he had no one to hold on to. Like he was drowning and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

The last time he had felt anything remotely like this had been when his mother had died. That was a completely different type of pain yet it felt eerily similar. It was the type of pain that left you feeling completely alone no matter how many people you surrounded yourself with.

Taking one last look at the door in front of him he turned and headed to the already crowded car, throwing his bag in the trunk before climbing into the driver's seat and forcing a cheerful smile on his face.

"Lets hit the road then. We want to try and get to Stanford before dark." His confident and cheerful voice was visibly fake to all in the Jeep but he was glad that none of his friends chose to comment on it. It had been bad enough that they had all witnessed his near break down just moments ago but talking about it would be much worse. He would prefer to just forget about the whole messy situation. At least until he reached the semi privacy of his new dorm room tonight.

The journey was pretty silent the entire way and he wasn't sure if this was a good or bad thing. On the one hand he was grateful that no one had brought up what had happened yet but on the other he knew the silence meant they were all replaying the events of a few hours ago over and over in their minds, waiting until they could talk about it without him there.

Deciding that them keeping their thoughts to themselves was preferable he turned the radio up and tried to focus on something other than the painful feelings still trapped in his chest.

By the time they reached the campus everything was just about back to normal between the group of friends. There were still many unanswered questions floating around but they were happy to ignore them for now in favour of finding their rooms and crashing for the night. It had been a long day for all of them, not just him. A day of tearful goodbyes and promises of being in touch soon.

Locating his room was relatively easy and he was pleased to find that his roommate hadn't arrived yet. He took the opportunity to get first dibs on the beds in the room, though it wasn't like either of them were very appealing, and unpacked his small suitcase. The rest of his belongings were due to be dropped off tomorrow by his dad in the large truck they had rented.

Finishing his unpacking quickly he stripped off his Jeans and climbed into bed. After half an hour of tossing and turning he eventually drifted to sleep dreading what the next day would bring.