Never Too Broken

She just laid there. It was 4 am but again, she couldn't sleep. So she just lay there. It was full moon and the light that hit her face was incredible. She felt protected when she was being illuminated by the moon's light. Like she had someone to look out for her.

She ran her fingertips over the cuts on her left wrist and thought 'how I wish they could just disappear'. But there were so many things that she wanted. And she started to get kind of angry at herself because the first thing she had in mind was a wish for herself and she couldn't cope with that. 'How can I be so selfish. I don't need to think about myself. I need to think about others. They need me. Not the other way around. I'm okay, I don't need to wish anything to myself. I'm just fine. I need to wish things for my family and friends. Not me.'

Her mind couldn't stop. She was stuck with this every night. Thoughts haunting her mind, keeping her from sleep and nightmares occuping her sleep, making her wake up everyday. She used to cry every night and every morning but she soon ran out of tears. She couldn't cry more. So she thought she had lost her ability to feel.

And she started to cut, and even though she was still numb, she was aware of herself enough to feel the relief flowing out of her skin in the form of blood.

-

Eventually she was able to fall asleep and, once again, darkness and words being shouted out of nowhere were filling her unconscious - worthless, pathetic, invisible, no-one, ugly, burden, stupid.

She woke up the next morning feeling exactly like she felt everyday: emotionaless. She got out of bed and went downstairs only to realise she was home alone. She sighed of relief and went back to her room, sat on the edge of her bed and grabbed her phone from the nightstand.

The clock on the screen said it's was only 9:32am. Opening her twitter app she checked her mentions but nothing new. 'As if' she thought. 'I don't even know why do I keep waiting for it to happen'.

You see, Micaela had something in her life. Someone. She had 5 human beings who saved her life, who made her smile. And although these 5 boys are the reason she's still alive, they're still clueless about her existence. She was used to it by now, simply because she knew she was just another one in millions.

She sighed and decided to tweet - once again - her second favorite, Liam (and even though fans don't admit, they all had their favorites).

'Still waiting for @Real_Liam_Payne to follow me. Guess I'll have to keep waiting haha xx'

Micaela quickly sent the tweet and silently prayed that this time he would notice her. She locked her phone and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

Even though she knew it would only be for a couple more hours, Micaela loved to have the house all for herself.

Nothing but silence.