It was never planned. All I was going to do, was go to the concert and have fun. I didn't think I would run into him there. I mean, I have always had a crush on him, but never like this. But all I know, is that I'm Free Falling for him.
Alright. Alright. It's time I stop avoiding my problem. Last night, Ryland basically confirmed that Gus does truly have a girlfriend. It was going to happen eventually you guys. I'm hurt about it, but you want to know what I am? I'm just a fan. A fan he would never notice in a millon years. Okay? I knew I didn't have a shot with Gus in the first place for three reasons. 1. We live to far away. 2. He's too good for me. 3. I'm too different for him.
After seeing pictures of the girl, I don't hate her. I envy her. She's really pretty. Now you all are probably wondering if I'm going to continue Free Falling and keep it going and keep it about myself. Honestly. . . I'm not sure. Free Falling has come very close to my heart and I love it a lot. Still Young has Gus in and he is dating Peyton. That I can do. But me and Gus. . . I'm not so sure about. I felt the same way when Rydellington was confirmed. Rydel has always been my favorite and I loved her a lot and I shipped them, yes, but it shocked me still. Gus is different. I actually might never admit this to someone, but there's something different about Gus. What it is? I'm not sure.
And yeah, you guys may be thinking that I could get over this, but think of it this way. . . You have a huge crush on a guy and he is really sweet and you can't get your mind off of him, even if your life depended on it. You feel yourself falling deeper for him. Then. . . You hit rock bottom. You see him with a girl and it breaks your heart. That's how I feel today. I'm not crying and ripping things up, I'm thinking. Thinking about how naive I am. Gus is no one's, except that girl's. And I am honestly fine with it, but this book means so much to me that the guy I wrote it about finally got a girlfriend, is gonna take a second to swallow. So if I do decide to put this book on hold for just a few days, please understand. . .
I love you guys so much. 😙 Thank you for hopefully understanding.
.....
I actually thought I had a chance against this for Gus?! 😳
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Kaya is her name. Or something like that. Do I care? I'm sorry. I thought I had a chance and I really honestly don't.
So, whatever. It doesn't matter to me really anymore. I mean, why should it. Which leads me to the questions. . .
Question: Should I put a hold on this, or do you guys literally want me to force updates out?
There. Answer that.
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Or whatever you want to do. I'm fine. I really am. Okay? 😕
