My family has always been a god fearing family. My whole life we always went to church. But it never meant anything to me. I always Know God was real, and that the bible was real but i never read it, or prayed. it just wasn't my thing. My mom was really protective of me and my brother and sister. She loved us a lot. And I loved her more than anything. I wasn't as close to my dad. I always thought since mommy could talk to teachers and get her way, or police, than she could convince God to save me.
When I was in second grade, my mom decided to home school me. So every morning we dropped off my siblings at school, than went home watched tv and took a nap or something.
On November 14, of 2007, I was in fifth grade. My aunt had to go to court, and my mom was going to be a witness. after dropping off my siblings me and my mom were on our way home to get ready. she told me after court, we were going to have lunch with dad, than she would go to college and i would go home with my dad. I thought it was going to be a fun day, but on our way home, we were in a car wreck. I couldn't stop screaming at first. I was so scared. I didn't have a seat belt on, and my legs were on the dash, so i had moved around a lot when the car was spinning. The car was completely filled with blood, and my mom was just starring at me. I was horrified. She couldn't move or talk, but she was still alive. I got out of the car and we were about half a mile away from home. 2 of my aunts and my grandparents all lived next to us so i was going to go get them. Then some lady grabbed me and said something like ''thank god your okay!'' i kept asking her to drive me down the rode and then she stopped a car and asked them to take me. I went to my aunts house and banged on the door. she screamed when she saw me. and got dressed then drove up there. i was in the car asking god to let my mommy live. My aunt was kinda... well... she was on her knees in the middle of the rode yelling. My other aunt, Steph the was suppose to be in court came over and hugged me. I ran over to my car and got in the back seat while the firemen tried to open her door. i said "mommy wheres your cellphone?" and she kinda shook her head no. then i asked ''mommy are you okay" and again she shook her head no. i got out of the car and in to my aunt Angel's car. My Aunt Screamed "Sherry I have Angel!" and then my mom apparently became not tense, and collapsed. some guy kept checking me to make sure my head wasn't bleeding and asking me questions to make sure i had my memory. My aunt Steph made him leave me alone. Then i had to ride in an ambulance to a hospital. i was in a room with my brother and sister when my dad came in crying and said "your mommy's in heaven." and that was it. my life was over.
After all that happened my family stayed with my aunt steph for about 2 weeks, then my dad made us go home. me and my sister were both really close to my aunt and didnt want to go. later she started going to a church and invited us. my dad said no of course. He was having trouble dealing with my moms death. all of us were. my brother wouldn't really talk to anyone, my dad was always yelling and would slap me if i had any "back-talk" my sister was just trying to keep the family together.
When my dad started letting me and my sis go to church with them he even let us go to D-now. When I was there I gave my life to the lord (on Nov. 13, 2007- I thought it was ironic that it was the day before the anniversary of the wreck). I couldn't stop crying and my face was so red. Things got worse at home, and my brother got super mean. I was back in public schools and he had to take me every morning. He said I had the devil in me and demons and that i followed Satan.
I got strong in my walk with Christ until the summer before eighth grade. I met a boy, then started cutting myself and tried to become bulimic. this guy got on a Ouija board to ask if my moms death was my fault. Things got kinda bad, and one day i was upset and went home and cut [on my leg]. It wouldn't stop bleeding and then my little cousin saw. my aunt came in and yelled and yelled. i had almost hit an artery. i stopped cutting that day cause my aunt threatened to tell my dad. I went through a really bad depression.
My only friends totally betrayed me in 8th grade. I learned i only had about 3 true friends. one being Jesus. A guy in my school started calling me Bible Freak, Loser in the corner, and Jesus Girl. One of my friends got called this stuff too.
On my freshman year [this year], I got strong in my walk with christ. My relationship with him wavers a bit, especially now cause my friend is being home schooled, but I'm still going to try my best, and whiteness to others. I'll never cut my self, or do anything like that again. I promised myself, My aunt, and my savior.
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Thank you so much if you read this.
[when i dedicated my life to the lord the song Reign In Us by Starfield played. If you haven't heard I strongly suggest you look it up.]
