Moving On

Found this story I wrote long ago and thought what the hell right? Hope you like it :D

The tears were threatening to come but Sophia held the back as she sat with the lawyer in his office. The walls were bleak much like the rest of the room as she sat in one of the chairs and looked at the man sitting in across from her. He paid her no attention as he shuffled through some papers on his desk.

 "Yes Mr. Samuels" She said rather displeased that he had sent for her mere hours after the funeral.

The rather scrawny man looked up from his papers and smiled kindly at her. But the smile didn't reach his eyes, and Sophia knew it was strictly business.

 "I'm deeply sorry for your loss Madam, and forgive me for making you come here right after your husband's funeral but  the matters of his Will need to be discussed." Sophia stared at him in disbelief, was the will all he had to tell her? Could it not wait till later? Samuels, not noticing her irritation continued "The house, car, and all other possessions go to you of course and the life insurance money will be deposited in your bank account" Sophia winced at the words, she could not imagine herself using the money from the insurance. It just didn't seem right and she didn't need it. She already knew what to do, she'd put all the money in her children's college fund.

 "Is that all Mr. Samuels?" She did her best to sound formal and nonchalant but her voice failed her, coming out shaken and with a slight high tone that made her clear her throat "I should get back home and see my children." She motioned to get up

 "One more thing Madam" The lawyer said "A month before his death your husband called for me. He expected his death and told me to give you something." He held out a wooden box and Sophia looked at it with tears in her eyes. "Again I'm sorry for your loss" She nodded unable to find words a she took the box and left.

Driving as fast as her car allowed her she reached her house. Her kids wouldn't be home yet, they would be having dinner at their grandmother's while she dealt with the guests coming to offer their condolences. Noticing no one had come yet she ran to her bedroom and locked the door.

As she sat on her bed staring at the wooden box with her husband's name engraved in big Cursive letters on top she fought back the lump in her throat. His death was slow, and painful. He had died of cancer though they went through chemo therapy and arranged every surgery possible he didn't make it. He didn't tell her anything about the wooden chest nor had she seen it.

 She took a deep breath to steady herself as she opened the box. The first thing to catch her eye was a small envelope  with the words To My Love on it. Her stomach knotted as she grazed her fingers over the seal. Reluctant in opening it.

She summoned up her courage and opened the envelope to reveal a letter with handwriting she recognized as her husband's instantly. She took a deep breath as she read:

My Dearest Sophia

I know this letter must have come as a surprise for you. But my death is something I have accepted to be near. My only hope is that I may get a few more days to be with you after I have written this. Sadly now that this letter is in your hands means that my disease has taken it's course. I have written this letter for one reason and one reason only; to help you through it.

My darling Sophia I don't know where to start because it pains me, it pains me to know that I will be leaving you, to be leaving my children.

I know I will not be there to watch my son fall in love, to watch him go to college and find a job.

I will not be there to watch my daughter grow to a lady, to walk her down the isle in her white dress. I know she will make an extravagant bride one day, just like you were.

To the children I leave these words: Know that life isn't for the weak of heart but the strong of mind and spirit. No matter what the problem is being strong will help you get through it.. You have each other my children, the love of a sibling is like no other. Rely on each other and trust one another above anyone else. Know that I'm watching over you in each step you take and that I am proud of you no matter what. I leave you these words in hope you will use them to go through life.

To you, my wife, I leave you my love, and the comfort that I am at peace.

You will forever be a part of my soul Sophia. Now I have been pacing back and forth trying to find the exact words to put for you to show you the true extent of my love but have failed miserably. Because no words can summon up the five years we have spent together. Our time may have been short, but I treasure every second of every day I spent with you, whether when you were engulfed in my arms while we talked through the night or even when we would fight and you'd get that small crease on your forehead that I love so much. The mere presence of you in the same room with me is a treasured memory. You changed me in a way every man should be changed. You made me a better man by simply being you, my love, my life.

I know this must be hard for you for, the desperation, longings, and heartbreak overwhelming you would be enough to break the strongest of men. I would know for it would be the same for me if I was in your place. Mourn me love. Cry, get mad, sad, frustrated but in the end move on and be the strong, adamant, witty woman I know you to be.

Two hearts should never be separated like this. It is a pain not to be bestowed on anyone and yet here we are. But keep in mind that death is not the end, but merely the beginning.

Our love isn't just in materialistic things, or merely in happy moments. It's in every breath, every caress, every word spoken. The kind of love that causes gods to weep and Devils bow their heads in shame it's eternal.

Live your life to the fullest and when we meet again I will not hesitate to wrap my arms around you and hold you where you will, forevermore, belong. Your family will support you through this hard time though I wish it would be me to offer you comfort instead. But for now goodbye would suffice. Know that you are the greatest joy I have ever called my own. And my heart and soul, every fiber of my being will watch over you. My love, my life, my every heartbeat.

I love you.

John.

The tears were now falling freely down her cheeks as she laid the letter back down and noticed another thing in the box. A broken sob made it's way in the back of her throat as she reached for the rusted old ring. It had been the ring he initially proposed to her with. Back when he didn't have enough money for a decent one, but she never really cared about money, only him. She smiled remembering how adamant he was on getting her a new ring when they were more financially stable, after a lot of persuasion she had finally agreed.

 She wiped the tears from her eyes and placed the old ring above the other one on her finger. She would never take them off.

 She stood up and rearranged herself before going out of the room to prepare. She'd be strong just like he told her because she knew deep down that even though fate had dealt them a cruel hand, they'd meet again.