Blend

There once was a girl. At school she was the quietest girl. Hanging out with a few friends now and then. Going to the major dances, hanging out at the major football games, and doing all the usual non-illegal activities a teenager can do.

   People think of her as the quiet goody goody. Making herself invisible to everybody because she hated the attention, and only talking in class when absolutely necessary.

   Rumors may go around about her because nobody actually knows what her home life is like. Some say that she does not have a father because nobody ever sees him. Some say that she only has an older sister because they remembered as the older one walked across the stage for the same school. Truth is, the girls life is boring. She has a Dad, a Mom, a big sister, a little brother, and  a little sister. They all love each other and are that family that you alwayse see sitting together on a sunday morning at the back of the Baptist church.

     However, deep inside the girl, there are secrets. Depression is a constant struggle, and though not a single scar on her arms, lift up them hem of her shirt and see the freshly wiped cut marks. she flushes the evidence of her bleeding down the toilet, and walks around like nothing is wrong. cutting hides her emotions. Whenever searching for a deep emotion, the only one that seems to come to mind is sadness. No happiness, no pleasure, just sadness. she learned to blend in. acting without feeling, laughing without meaning, and moving without the knowledge of a destination.

   "Fake it till you make it" is what she hates to hear, but knows it is a life motto for her. Shutting people out is her strongest super power. Only mastered with hours and hours of isolation. In isolation she distracts herself. Tries to keep up with the social world by checking social media sites. Hiding behind a phone screen, being who she really wants to be through comments and messages. Reading books is what she favors. The feeling of escaping the real world to divulge into a fantasy world where anything is possible.

   Still she wakes up with the pain on her stomach from the dried blood rubbing against her thin tank top. Still going to school to be ignored by people yet putting on the sweetest face, still coming home and staying away for the whole day, and still going to Church acting like she hasn't let one bad day keep her down.

   In the end, even though the feelings weren't real, you can at least say that you made it, unless the sadness of it all pushes you off the edge.