Real

11.

We enter the driveway and the lights in the garage flick on and the door opens. My mom opens the door and comes running outside. They both help me shift into the wheelchair once its set up. Mom hugs me tight till I'm choking and I give a little push. They take me in. The going up on the couple of stairs was quite a ride. I have no idea how I'm gonna go up the stairs to my room and come down every single day.

'Sweetie, do you want to eat anything? Your favourite, pasta maybe?' My mom asks. I can feel the sympathy in her voice. I feel bad for her as well for me.

'No mom, I'm good. Trust me. I'm tired. I just want to sleep.' I say. Why do I sound a little mean?

'Oh okay. And do you you wish to go to school tomorrow?' She asks standing, driving me to the room on the same floor. Why?

'Yeah. I do want to go to school tomorrow. I would never miss a chance to enjoy now.'

We enter the room and my my turns the light on.

It's identical. It's the same.

'How do you like it?' My mom asks me.

'This is amazing! Did you do this. It looks exactly like my room. Every single thing looks the same. I love it.' I reply. This is the only thing that has made me happy in days.

'I'm glad you liked it.' I can see how happy she is. She's probably going to breakdown in front of my dad after putting me to bed.

We go in as she shows me the washroom and my closet and everything. She hands me my phone thats fully charged. I'm so glad to have it back. She puts me on the bed and hides me under the blanket. We exchange goodnight's and then she leaves. I have no energy to go on all the social networking sites. In the morning. I switch off the lamp and cozy up in my blanket. My mission is to sleep without any distractions.

I'm almost in my sleep when I remember that I have to put an alarm for tomorrow morning. Life. I put an alarm for seven a.m and then turn over to sleep again. As I turn the other way, both of the lamps turn on. This is suspicious. These incidents are like a routine for me though. I turn the lamps of and go to bed as I feel like all of the air in the room hit to my face. Like a rush of energy passing through. I just go to sleep anyway.

***

The alarm sounds. The usual depressing iPhone ringtone. I cant get up. I see through the blinds. The day is dull. Like they show in horror movies, lilac and sap sky with a bunch of grey clouds floating around. No sun coming through. Its six in the morning. Hope that the day gets brighter. I sit there staring at the polaroids from last year. Bloodshot eyes and hands on each others shoulders. Me, Jackson, Bree and Brett holding red cups, smiling with a lil teeth. I remember that night when all of our mouths would stink of vodka and strawberries. Games like truth and dare were our favourites. They still are. Sweaty bodies and metal music, we danced to it and then just pass out on the couch. That party was one of our first hardcore ones. Someone turned seventeen and invited everyone like one of those movie parties. Trend was red flannels. Almost everyone was wearing one. Poor flannels.

'Hey, good morning sweetheart. Hope I'm not late.' Mom just entered.

'No, mom. Just in time.' I say rubbing my face.

She partially lifts me and is successful in transporting me to the wheelchair. She takes me inside the washroom and takes my supplies out for me.

'Call out for me whenever you're done brushing and I'll help you with the shower.' She says. I can instantly spot out wrinkles surrounding her lips. The idea of that doesn't surprise me, nor does it make me happy.

I do all the steps of brushing my teeth, but remain unsatisfied because I cant see myself in the mirror anymore. My mom comes in and when she puts me in the shower, I'm sitting there on a plastic chair washing off the hospital dirt from my body. I wipe my body and wrap the towel around my body and try to stand up holding the walls but I can't and my towel drops instead and I just sit there on the chair and start crying. I have never been dependant on anyone for these small things ever in my life and now suddenly this, I just cant handle it. My mom come rushing in and pulling me into a hug to calm me down. I feel bad. For everyone.

I'm in the bedroom now. Just got ready. A maroon sweatshirt and black legging. Thats all I can imagine wearing right now. My hair is a mess so I just put it in a tight bun. I go out driving my wheelchair on my own, I should have biceps till the end of this. I see the table ready with my favourite breakfast, that is actually a Korean dessert. Kiwis, bananas and strawberries with crushed ice. I grab chocolate milk and drink before I eat that bowl of deliciousness. My mom comes down and she looks nice as always.

'You look nice and fresh!' My mom compliments.

'Not too bad yourself.' I say with a smirk and we start laughing.

We eat together. She makes me put my coat on and grabs my backpack. She struggles making me sit in the car but it finally happens. We drive with light music on. I see all the people I usually see in the morning while going to school. The sun still hasn't come out. Its really cold outside and I feel like its going to snow soon. We reach my school and my mom helps me on to the wheelchair and she starts driving me.

'Mom, I can do it myself.'

'Are you sure?' She asks with her brows furrowed.

'Yes.'

With that I leave he be and start riding towards the ramp of my school. As I start getting near, conversations shut and eyes open to me. Everyone starts looking at me. Like a victim or maybe even a criminal.

         

I open the door and go inside. I stop behind a pillar and and text Rose to come to me.

I continue towards my locker and seeing a lot of familiar faces gives me a bit of nausea. I reach my locker and see some balloons and couple of notes from the emotional people mostly. It feels like I'm dead already. I open my locker, take my binder and stuff my back pack inside. I still have like ten minutes till my class starts.

         

I'm back to school huh. Poor old Lucy is back to school. Same creme lockers, copper hallways and red varsity jackets walking around. Rose doesn't show up. So I start moving to my first class that is English. That I don't like. The bell rings as I enter the class. My teacher gives me a sympathetic look with a smile and tells me to take my usual seat. I am the first one in the class. Each person enters, looks at my face and then sits. As if they are asking me for permission to sit. The teacher starts the class and there is only one seat left empty beside me. A guy rushes in.

'Sorry for being late.' He says.

'You're almost on time.' The teacher says and he comes right beside me. Its Ronald.

'So, how've you been?'