The Stuck-Up Snake (Draco Malfoy)

Note to The Reader (Skip if wanted. Explains story angle)

Nobody ever reads these. I know I don't. But I think the shocking contrast between this and other Draco Malfoy fanfictions needs to be explained a bit. And I have some Potter history...

This story involves no magic. Just drama. That's what we're all really reading fanfiction for though, right?

Why would I do this?

I have run out of fanfiction to read (not to mention good fanfiction) a while ago. I've read everything from muggleborns/Gryffindors (my least favourite, at least make it Ravenclaw) and Draco, to werewolf girls and Draco, to girls who have to deal with super bitchy Pansy and Draco. So then I turned to Drarry and Dramione, and I don't really ship either to be honest. Still working through Dramione, but to be perfectly honest, I'm almost through that.

Obsessed? Maybe, but I can't help that Draco Malfoy makes for the most interesting love story. I mean, yes Harry faces death alarmingly frequently, and the Weasley twins are more than entertaining, but Draco is the troublemaking bad boy every girl has a puppy crush on at least once in her childhood. You remember that kid who got put in the corner a lot for talking or saying inappropriate things straight to the teachers? Detentions? Shit-eating grin? Maybe failed a bit? Possibly had a dad that pulled a few strings and a little posse of bullies?

Okay, maybe you didn't have a crush on him, but you're here for Draco who is basically that so you can either admit it, or I'll call you a liar ;).

Okay, get to the point, right?

I've wanted to write this for a while, and I'm in the middle of finishing  term papers and exams, so why not now? I also never want to publish an idea I haven't seen yet because I'm so paranoid somebody's gonna copy it (if people bother to read this) and it's gonna be like "dark" Harry Styles. Although, I got this idea from reading Naruto fanfictions set in normal public high school, so sue me.

Note: I was sorted into Slytherin (obviously) on Pottermore and have therefore read the long-ass welcome letter (if you know what I'm talking about you rule) most likely designed for the students put in Slytherin not too feel so bad for themselves. Which by the way worked. I have tremendous house pride. Think about it, you read the books, watched the movies rooting for Harry and hating Malfoy, laughing when he was shoved down somebody's pants as a ferret, and then seven questions later- BOOM- Welcome to Slytherin House. I sat there with my jaw on the FLOOR. I didn't know how to react. I wasn't sad because I was so excited to know, but I was shocked that I was in the "evil" house.

ANYWAY (dear lord this is longer than I meant it to be, thank you for reading this far) the Slytherin welcome letter is by far the best to read ( I mean, pshh how would I know? ;) ) because it explains the difference between the houses and their beliefs in detail. So that's how I came to learn that the opposing houses in Hogwarts are, in fact, *drumroll*................

SLYTHERIN ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD HUFFLEPUFF!

Eh? NOT Gryffindor?

In...uh, book 2, I think, Rowling touches on how Godric and Salazar valued similar traits in students, and that's why Harry could've been put in Slytherin and done well. Salazar was just pickier and meaner and, well, more SLY. These two houses are described as "two sides of the same coin", and their rivalry stems from the two founders and general pride rather than valuing different things.

That being typed, Hufflepuff prizes friendship and loyalty. Slytherin is also loyal to TRUE, TRUSTED friends, but does not make friends easily. Hufflepuffs are generally honest (not to say they won't copy charms homework), while Slytherin will do anything to get the outcome they want. Thus, the true opposites of Hogwarts, so NO HUFFLEPUFFS WILL BE FRIENDS WITH MY MAIN SORRY. Notice I said friends ;).  You guys are still invited to our wicked Slytherin parties though.

Enough delay. Mini history lessen over.

So here I am, listening to the "Potter Waltz" on repeat with my Serverus Snape wand from Harry Potter Universal Orlando laying next to me, wrapped in a Slytherin Quidditch blanket, about to tell whoever is hopefully reading this a tale about a bratty, stuck-up, typical rich kid named for a constellation jock and jerk, his friends, his enemies, and his love interest.

Longer than all of my papers in less time wow imagine that.