Letters

Jasper

Dear Jasper,

Hi, I miss you little buddy. You were by far the best dog I have ever had. When my mom and I found out you were killed after being run over, a part of us broke. You had an impact on everyone; my friends who came over loved you like one of their own. Every time someone would enter the house it seemed like you would be their first impression. Everyone always told me how ugly you were, I guess that's what you get from being a hairless dog. I loved you even though you weren't beautiful.

The last time Tessa was here she pet you on the head and told you this might be the last time she saw you, since we got into a fight before she disappeared. She was so sad to find out those words had meaning, when you left she almost felt as bad as me! It was probably heartbreaking to hear me scream into the phone and tell her you were dead. I'm sure it hurt a lot of people. You were her dog too, even if she had one at her house. Just know she still loves you.

It was a normal Monday night, I was in my bed reading some phanfiction while wanting to be alone. My mom came to the door in my room and asked if you were in the room with me, after I said no and that I didn't know where you were, she turned around and I thought nothing of it. I thought she probably locked you outside again and she was going to open the door and find you curled up on her smoking chair like always. That never happend. It was about thirty minutes after she asked me when she came running back into the house. With how bad she was crying I thought she was laughing really hard at somthing. I was expecting her to come in my room and tell me some funny story about what you were doing when she found you, then she came into view.

I saw tears rushing down her face and you in her arms. I worriedly asked her what happen (I didn't know you were dead because your eyes were opened and I thought you were just hurt) and she told me you were run over. I ask if you were dead and she said yes and sat down on my bed. I got up and walked to my bedroom door, I don't know where I thought I was going, and I collapsed on my knees. Now as you know I had a lot of pent up sadness surrounding me at the time, and this was my breaking point. When I fell I let out the loudest scream I could, and I didn't stop there. I kept on screaming until I forced myself to get up and look at you.

You were laying in my crying moms arms like a baby and your eyes were open. If you looked closer that was the thing that hurt me the most, your eyes use to be this chocolate color with little flake of caramel in them, but now they were pitched black. It was if someone took the life out of your eyes, which they did. My mom kept trying to get me to hold you but I just couldn't do it, it was as if  I touched you you death would be real. By this point I was crying so bad my whole body was shaking. I kept asking my mom "can I call someone?!" Along with saying " I need someone to talk to!" I like how I asked as of my mom would have said no.

I ran out of the room and called Tessa as fast as I could, when I told her what happen she couldn't believe it. Eventually I was sobbing so hard I couldn't even talk to her and i hung up. My mom sat down on the couch with me (I have no idea where she put you btw) and held me while I sobbed.  I called Ash and she told me she wanted me to come there after I kept chanting "I need to get away from here" over and over again. My mom said I could and I hung up. Keep in mind me and my mom have not calmed down our sobbing one bit. We got up and she told me take all the toys out of  the toy box and here's the conversation.

Mom: take the toys out of the bin
Me: why? There's no point
Mom: I need it to be clear so I can out Jasper in it while I take you to Ashleigh's
Me: No! You can't just leave him here!
Mom: well what do you expect me to do, I have to have him here so I can burry him while you are over there.
Me: I don't want him to be buried! What if we move? Then what?!
Mom: well do you want me to get him to be cremated.
Me: yes, I want him with me all the time!

I'm actually thankful she didn't say "he will always be in your heart" because we both didn't need to hear that at the moment. We just really missed you already. You were my life.

Now I'm going to take a break for this and go to our back story a bit, well a lot.

It was when we just moved to Panama City and we were driving "home". My mom saw a sign that said ' hairless dogs for sale, just $15' and my mom just haaaaaad to go see them. We drove up to this crappy trailer and walked up to knock. When the guy came out with a small bucket with the three most ugly dogs I have ever seen I knew this was a baaaaad idea. My mom begged and begged me to get one and finally I said yes. Well getting you was the best idea ever. At that point in life I had no friends and I need you. I always ranted to you until the day you died.

Well I went to ashes and I finally stopped crying after 3 hours.

I'm getting sleepy so I'm going to go Jasper, thank you for listening to me once again. I love you baby.

                                                                                          All my love,
                                                                                                             Amy.