To be honest, I don't know why I'm writing this.
I guess it's because everyone I've trusted has turned on me in these past months.
And I feel like this is my last resort.
But no matter what I write in this "journal" of sorts, please don't message me.
I already know I'm a total asshole, you don't need to tell me more.
So here's what I need to let off my chest-
- I liked my ex's picture by accident around a half of hour ago. I realized my mistake but shrugged it off because it's just a post on Instagram, right? No big deal, right? Wrong. He made two posts about it- one saying how I was a bitch because I hurt his feelings, broke his heart, was cruel to him, and lied straight to his face (which I don't remember lying to him nor being as cruel as he described ever), then I have the audacity to like his post? The second post basically mocking me for being hurt about the first post, saying that he was standing up for himself, and that he didn't care about my apology, and that he wasn't going to apologize. Even though I hadn't asked for an apology. Not only that, but I saw that my old friends were backing him up in the comments. I will fully agree in saying that I could have let him down gentler than I did when broke up, and that I could have been more patient with him. But at the same time the way he reacted to me liking a post was uncalled for, especially the way he worded it. And having the ones I thought I could talk to about anything to turn on me and encourage him without hearing me out hurts even more.
I don't know I guess I just feel like I don't have anyone left.
-My current boyfriend has started smoking and bumming cigarettes off some guy at the park near his house. Our conversations used to be hours long and now they'll be 5 minutes at the most. And I try to make the most out of those precious minutes that I have of his time but he spends it talking to people I hear in the background. I don't want to come off as clingy so I don't say anything but it really bothers me and idk what to do because I love him so much.
I'll add more later but I'm too stressed to write more.
I know I'm a whiny bitch okay.
Until next time I guess.
