"I can feel it. I can feel the end coming." Steve mumbled weakly.
A metronome had begun in his ears, and it was slowly getting louder."When the ticking clock stops, it's all over."
He didn't know why he was talking out loud, he was alone. Alone in the squalor of his one bedroom apartment. Lori had taken the kids in the divorce, and over the years they'd forgotten their father. But why wouldn't they? He'd become something far too pathetic for even a child to love or respect.
"Lydia."The thought of his youngest daughter brought a rush of tears. She was the last one to give up on him..... The memory was still crystal clear even now.
"I COULD'VE BEEN GREAT!!" He'd roared, throwing his empty glass at the bartender. It shattered against the wall. The security guard pulled him from his seat and threw him to the floor.
"I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE BEST THERE EVER WAS!!!" Next was darkness. He remembered puking inside the police car and hitting his head against the bars in the holding cell, but nothing was too clear until her voice, a voice that used to be so full of love, now only carried regret, like him.
"I'm done watching you destroy yourself Steve. The police say if you have another incident they'll just do everyone a favor and throw you in prison. I'm not bailing you out again." Lydia's voice wasn't shaking like it had the last time, and it wasn't soft. It was hard.
"What did you call me?" He grumbled, still feeling the full effect of his drinking.
"I called you Steve. Because you aren't my father. Not anymore."The words came out like knives. Opening his eyes he saw not the beautiful strawberry blonde hair she'd been born with, but a shortcut of straight, pitch black hair. She'd even stopped wearing the emerald hairpin he'd given her when she was little.
"I've lost you too huh?" Now the bitter old man laughed, finally, at the end of it all, able to see the humor in the joke that had been his life. He thought of the day he sold his comic books, then the following year when he sold his camera, and the day Lori finally walked out. Where had all this started? He racked all that was left of his memories, searching for the catalyst, the first mistake.
"Princess,I'm not the prince for you. I used to believe I was, but I know better now." There it was! There was the first mistake, a sacrifice made in fear. He remembered that moment, standing in Macy's doorway with his hands in his pockets. He'd loved Macy more than anything else in the world, but believed that a life with him just wouldn't be the life she deserved. He felt he would never be the man she deserved, even if he could be the man she wanted. He'd given up his quest for her heart, and a few years later told himself he wanted to spend his life with Lori. Two lies, two acts of cowardice that changed his life forever. First the love of his life, next his passion, then his hopes and dreams, and last his children. He'd destroyed all of it.
"I'ma monster. A monster and a coward!" He screamed. This was his first honest moment in over 40 years, ironic it would be his last moment. The metronome now rang like cathedral bells. His vision went black, his ears silent, his nose clear of everything, and his fingers just....ceased. The clock stopped. He was gone.
