Dark Shadows

May Angels Lead Me In

CHARLIE

I could see my house come into view through the fog as I look down at my Kitten. She looks so fragile in my arms, paler than she normally is, her head flopping over my arm as she laid limply in them. I turn round to look at my brother holding Shade protectively, whispering in her ear reassuringly. She really cared about Clara, she said I needed to get the poison out of her system that would mean biting her. I have to make sure I don't take too much blood otherwise she might die, of if I take too little the poison will still be in her body. I raised my head high and picked up my pace anxious to get in to the house. Since my of a brother drove my beloved car in to the castle we had no way of getting back so we had to walk... 5 miles... My legs were aching and I swear I could hear her heart getting weaker and weaker. I looked up to see the gates of my house I quickly opened them and rushed in to the house up to our room. I lay her on the bed just as Nicholas and shade walked in. I turned to Nicholas and sent him a telepathic note "I'm going to suck the poison out of her, take shade away from here, she won't want to hear the screaming" I knew he nodded we were connected like that. I heard the door downstairs close behind him. As I was walking over to Clara I heard him in my head "Good luck brother, I hope she is, I would hate anything to happen to my Shade."

I climbed onto the bed and sat down beside her, I kissed her head brushing her hair out the way of her neck. I take a deep breath and let my fangs extend. I feel them pushing against my bottom lip. I run my tongue along them feeling the smoothness. I lower my head to her neck, smelling her blood "This will hurt kitten, stay strong for me, and don't die" I say right before I bite into the delicate flesh of her neck.

Shade

I walked beside Nicholas in the hallway, uneasy, the breathing memory of Clara dead. I couldn't loose another person. "It will be okay." Nicholas said breaking my silence. "How do you know that!" I snapped. I knew I shouldn't of but I was in such a state, Nicholas was meaning more and more to me each and every day, just me being here had almost killed him tonight. What if i did fall for him? What if he died because of me? My heart squeezed at the mere Thought of it. So what did I do about the problem at hand. The same thing I did every time this sort of thing happened, every time someone had gotten too close. I pushed them away. "Shade, Clara will be fine Charlie will sort it." His voice was still calm and soft despite the fact I had just shouted at him. "Yeah, and how do you know it won't happen again, you and I both know that that frigging bitch wants us both dead! She will try again and again and again until one of us really dies, what if that happens! If I see it before and then again for real. This fucking problem I have, this 'gift' I don't want it. What kind of special power, haunts you with its memories every day, every night...." I felt tears cutting through my vision. As I opened up to him and told him everything I had felt all these years. "When every one you love dies before you, and you have to watch, have to listen and then have to live with the crushing regret that whoever's fault the death was, it wasn't! Because I saw it happen and I didn't stop it. I remember my mother on the last day before she died, she was happy kind loving, I was so young everything I felt was exaggerated, and when I was so happy, I fell in to that awful blackness that whisks me away to a nightmare. I saw my mother being murdered right in front of my eyes, I heard her screams, her pleas, and worst of all as much as I shouted to her, she couldn't hear me. the trance was so long, nobody knew what was really happening to me, they didn't call me back. So bye the time I came back. My mother was gone. She was dead her body close to mine, blood covering the floor. I was four. Clara was locked in another room and didn't know what was happening, I never told her until years later. I carried the burden, along with the memory. So what do you think of me now! Are you so lucky, so strong, so proud." I cried helplessly, and Nicholas stood there at a loss for words. I had pushed him away, just like I always did, because it was easier to be crushed, alone and never to love anyone then to live with the destroying disappointment, that when they die, I see it and it would be my fault. It was then that I ran. I was tired of looking at his look of pity for me I didn't want it i didn't need it, and I couldn't bear it.

I wasn't sure where I was going, the house was so big, but when I found the doors, I pushed them open and kept on going. I ran through the dark forests, through the rain that started to tip down. hiding my tears. Through the icy water and the pain I felt, I didn't think about anything other than my mother. Her sweet eyes, she always wanted the best for us, and if I could see her to night, I'd love her with everything I had left, I'd play a song for her heart that was so big, god wouldn't let it live.

It was by the tall tree I stopped, I collapsed to the floor the rain pattering on me. It was here I faded, and here I waited for the blackness to cover me, to embrace me and to never let me go. I didn't want to come back. My soul was shattered, I was like a broken horse, I was weak and tired. I could no longer push on and I could'nt carry the weight of the world on my shoulders, I was ruined, and so I collaped on the race track of life and waited for the gunfire. May the angels lead me in.

***

Yeah so she is pretty broken right now, and now you know how it happened, one of her darkest secrets....ha ha see what I did there 'one'! Oh yes there is more to come my lovelies.

So the question is will she ever let sweet but dangerous Nicky in. hmm I think about this one because I'm not sure I know my self.

Anyway this chapter is dedicated to some people. To everyone who I've lost in this life and who I miss so very much. 

also this is goodbye to a very special person who I won't mention the name of. He isn't dying, but considering he will probably end up reading this...I want you to know that I'm done with your little games, and i don't want to be apart of your life anymore I think about you everyday and it always makes me a little sad to think about the loss of you in my life now, but this is the end. I won't hold back any longer, because carrying the problem of weather not I still love you is too confusing to think about. You don't get another chance, and i never said thank you for every thing you have done to me.

Goodbye

Shade x