LIFE IS LIFE
Why is it so hard for people to believe that a such beautiful girl has such low confidence? Why it that we see something so little that has wings and is beautiful and think its a butterfly? Why do we think that we are sooooo smart because we make good grades? I don't know either... But it's apart of life...
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It's hard showing off your skills and having confidence in yourself in such a small place. I live in east Texas.
I have brown eyes and black hair. I'm mixed. My eyelashes are curled up like no others. I'm in a really good shape. my hips are somewhat big and my chest the same. My stomach doesn't stick out but you can't see my ribs.
Both if my parents are light skinned but I'm the so called "the white one" in my family.
My mother lives with me but my dad is gone... Not dead gone but gone to jail... He was in a shooting and got blamed for it for being black.
This old feeble white lady has hated black people for the longest. Her son was in the shooting and he got shot. Of course she claims it was my father. The judge is all " Are you sure it was this man?" and this asinine ugly white lady (don't get me wrong I love white people! They are so nice) replies " Yes, I am sure he's black like the shooter".
The judge was a poor judge... She asked for no type of evidence...
Anyways I go to towhead highscool... This school is such a hole. Like it's like living hell. I have A friend named Jazline. She has had my back since like the 5th grade. I love this girl. She my everything.
I just think my life is a mess. At the same time a think it's just a creative thing bunched all together in one spot.
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CHAPTER ONE
I got off the bus with a rush, just ready to get in the house... School is a freaking headache... And on top of that, Jazline corndog's right at the crack of my butt...
"Ouch!" I couldn't even walk neither could I sit. "Really Jazz?" " Hahhaha!!! Yes really!"
" Not now I don't feel like playing... I'm tired and ready to get in this house." "Why you gotta be so stupid?" "Stupid?" "Wait Arlene I didn't mean it that way! I just meant why so moody? I just want play Around! I know you had a bad day or whatever but I just want you to feel better!" " What ever Jazline... All I want to do is go home and get away from everyone right now...bye..." I walked off with anger in my fist and a pool in my eyes.
I walked home to only find a boy staring at me. A fairly young... maybe in his 20's... He had on a black jacket his hair was golden and he had some on some blue jeans.
I started to run and run, but as I ran he chased me. I finally made it home but he never caught me...
I got into the house... tears pouring down my face... I hurried and ran up the stairs. " Arlene!!! is everything ok up there?!" I couldn't talk correctly " YES MOM YES! I AM FINE!"
I couldn't think strait. The world was dizzy and my stomach was weak. I couldn't feel my hands neither my feet so I started to rub my toes on the nice smooth and white carpet. Thinking of all the madness. Why didn't I tell her?
I think he was being chased. He probably wanted me to cover his tracks. either way I was terrified. I hurried and flicked on the T. V. To only find that same exact man put only in a better way. A superfluous amount of police officers surrounded by him while two held him down. They cuffed him and took him away.
I felt a huge pump in my heart as I heard "This young man has been accused of one murder."
I fell out of the bed scared. What if that was me that was murderd? It could have been the begging.I could never look at life the same.
CHAPTER TWO
I finally told my mom and soon the whole school found out. Monday morning I walked through the hall furious at the world.
Jazline walked up to me."Arlene I'm sooooo sorry.." Jazline said softly with her hand on my shoulder. "YOU WERENT THERE!" tears started to roll down my face like a waterfall. " You were angry and what was I supposed to do? You walked off! Your always too freaking worried about yourself. " i couldn't hold in my anger... My heart was full of stress .
"A real friend would have held me by my hand... Walked me through the way... helped me... Apologized... But instead you called me selfish... I could be dead right now Jazline... You weren't there..."
"Arlene if I could I would have been... I can't go back... I would go back so fast and change the past but I can't Arlene... I can't... My heart is crying for you Arlene. I'm sorry I can't change anything. I can't lose you Arlene. Your my sister your my life. Arlene I just ca-"
We both started to pour our tears and we hurried and hugged each other
stressed.
CHAPTER THREE
(2 months later)
Today I have a test in algebra. It determines weither or not we pass algebra and get to take it next semester. We get three hours to finish.
Erase after erase. "I can't think strait. I'm gonna fail",I thought to myself. I had such low confedence.
Finally the test was over and we could leave and continue our regular schedule.
"Heeeeeeyyyyy Arlene!" Joshua called out. " Hey Josh." Josh was worried "Geesh why you so low today?" he looked confused. I looked down." I thought you wouldn't talk to me because-" "because?" "because of what happened..."
"What tha??? Why would you think that? You didn't do anything wrong in the situation."i looked at him with a smile on my face " I don't know...."
Josh looked at me for a few seconds." Come on let's go grab a pizza.!" I looked at him with a grin in my face but a arch in my eyebrow. "I can't" "Why not?" "I can't take another chance Josh... but I gotta go my mom is probably waiting for me out front. bye.
CHAPTER FOUR
One chance I had one chance... and I blew it. Lord knows I like him and he likes me. And I blew it over something that happened over 2 months. My life will never change, because I keep going back further and further to the past.
I went over to Jazline's house today. And I bet she's mad at me. she claims that I think to much about myself and that I need to go to therapy or something . I mean do I really?
