Dairy of the Middle School Girl

Is Love Real

Dear Diary after that whole thing with Jessica Sims, I went home. Mom was not there , she is probably at the bar. She never used to drink and smoke she used to be the best mom ever .We used to be  best friends, but then  my dad divorced my mom.The first few weeks she would  not eat and just watch the news all day. Then she started going to the bar with her friend's an started smoking too. She lost her job and now we have no money, the only reason I am still alive is because i have a job. I sell things in the house for money,and every so often my dad would come and give my mom some money but it never went to the house it went to the people at the bar. My mom as grown old she used to look beautiful, she used to look pure. Now she looked horrible, her fingers are cracked, she always has bags under her eyes , she has stress lines on her for head, her hair is thin and she is shinny. We are both very bony , we don't eat much , but we do have something. My mom blames me for everything that has happened to her she has said that if i was dead she would still be with my dad and so would still have a  her job. I don't love her and people can hate me for it but i don't care why should i love someone who does not love me back. Does it make sense. No. I care about her , but do I love her? Sometimes i think i have forgotten how to love. WHAT IS LOVE ANYWAY , its such a simple emotion , how can it mean so much. Do i love my dad do  I love my mom . Who knows. Is love even real is true love real. At this moment , No , love is not real. I sing a song to stop my brain from thinking , i think to much about ,so I sing.

 S.O.S

  S.O.S, please
Someone help me
It's not healthy
For me to feel this
Y.O.U. are making this hard
I can't help but see it don't feel right
This time, please, someone come and rescue me

I hear the door bell, ring i wonder who it is, no one comes to our house at all. The only people who even dare to look or gance at our house is my moms friends that come and pick her up. They are just like her but they earn money different ways.I open the door to see Jay , He is panting hard and is sweating, i say hi and let him in. He is talking to me really fast 

" Amy your mom she . car .tree.on her way. drunk.

" Jay what are you talking about slow down" i know something is wrong when I hear the word drunk. I  look at him intensely looking for answers, he eyes get glassy and he swallows hard. I yell at him longing for answers. Then i hear him say in a soft hoarse voice 

"she is dead"

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Hey my sweetie pies how do you like the story. I know it was not as funny as the last on but hey.I also need a cast for this book. There many other characters in this book, they  will be in the next chapter and more chapters.I want you guys to go check out some of my Wattpad friends they are so cool. The song in this chapter is by Rihanna sang by Jeanette Miller

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