Goodbye (Camren One Shot)

Goodbye

"Are you even listening?" Becky asks from beside me, as she pokes my side with a chocolatey finger. "Sorry Beckyboo, just think." I say looking down at the little girl tucked into my side. "About what?"  Why do we say goodbye, when there's no good in it at all? My eyes just won't keep dry, every tear is a waterfall. I'm holding on to all the memories I can recall, now I cherish every moment big or small. "A girl. She's special like you." I say, as I look down at her as she concentrates on her quickly melting ice cream. I feel my chest ache and sore as I think about her. Now that you're gone, I hold onto all the laughs we shared, and I'll never forget your smile.

We've said hello a million times. "What's her name?" Becky says as she swings her legs on the bench. The hardest thing to do is say goodbye. "Lauren. Her name was Lauren." I answer as a ghost smile plays on my lips; that's the first time I've said her name in ten years. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. "Lauren is a pretty name." Becky states after a few seconds of silence. "She was very pretty too." We've said hello a million times, the hardest thing to do is say goodbye. It's so hard to say goodbye. "Was she your best friend?" My mini me asks curiously.

"Well.." I start, thinking of how I can explain this to a six year old. "She was, and still is me everything, so I suppose you could say she was my best friend. Not a day comes, that I don't wish you were near. "Where is she?" She asks. "Not too sure baby." I say as I run my fingers through her soft hair. Why don't you ring her?" She asks, finishing her ice cream. "I don't have her number. I say with a sad smile. But wherever you are, I'm still holding you right here, here in my heart.

"Do you miss her?" She says looking up at me. "Everyday." I say simply. I hope and pray, that I'll see you once again, 'til then I'll be looking forward to that day.

I watch the people passing by on the sidewalk again, making sure I never miss a face. We've said hello a million times. Some happy, some sad, some too caught up in life just to take the time and relax. There were so many faces that I almost missed the green eyes and dark hair exit a bookshop with a book in her hand and a smile on her face as listened to the guy walking beside her. Hardest thing to do is say goodbye. As my heart started to beat the fastest I've ever felt, he laced their fingers together and kissed her cheek, she blushed shyly, looking down at the ground and smiling. A feeling of emptiness filled my chest in a paradoxical way as I watched him put a smile on her face the way I should. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. When they stopped at the traffic light, and she set that special gaze on his side profile, the way I knew all too well, I knew there was nothing I could do. She moved on, and she was happy. We've said hello a million times, the hardest thing to do is say goodbye. As Becky rushed over and grabbed my hand, her green eyes seemed to always make me melt, met mine, and we both knew in that instant, our time was over. I knew she'd always love me, that much was true by the way her eyes told me a million stories in a short few seconds; until the traffic stopped, the pedestrian lights turned green, and my daughter grew extremely impatient, as she tugged on my arm. It's hard to say goodbye. All at once she was gone, lost in the crowd of people who meant nothing to me in comparison to her. It's so hard, to say goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. It didn't matter to me that she moved on because in a sense I had too, the time we shared was short, but it was the best I'd ever had. I knew she would always love me, even if she was with another. No matter who she was with, where she was, or what she was doing, we'd still always have the time we had together, and that's all I could ever ask for.