This is an apology letter to the both of us, for how long it took me to let things go. - unknown.
Dear..... My first love I suppose.
Ummmmm..... Where do I start? I think I should start why I'm writing this letter.... I'm writing to help me let go. Let go for this bittersweet crush I had for you for many years. Since I could remember I've know you, I've always had these special feelings for you. Every time you looked at me with your sparkling chocolate eyes, my heart would skip a beat and butterflies would erupt in my belly every time we talked. But these feeling are starting to go because of how distant we now are and I'm finally coming to terms with it and understanding that we're growing up and things change. We have changed.
Gosh.... I think my first step is to delete the thousands messages we had together. See in the middle of high school - me and you were so close. We would talk everyday via Facebook for hours. We could never talk face to face much cause we didn't go to the same school and we would catch the bus at different times but we still managed. Gosh.... I don't think I can delete them. I want at at least cherish the good memories - we're still friends. You've never did anything wrong - we've always been great friends, nothing more and never will be more. When I was younger, I would always imagine you would finally confess these secret feelings you had for me and we will get married and have a family.... But as I said. When I was younger. Now I understand that your not the only boy out there, there's more fish in the sea that I have yet to explore.
And since I'm writing this letter to let go of the feeling I have for you... I liked you so much, I swear at point I was in love but that love soon died when we started to grow distant and that surprised me cause it showed that I either = never loved you or that it shows that I've already have let you go from my love. My heart has finally let go of the past to make room for the future.
I'm now cupping my hands with the bittersweet emotions I had for you and letting them flutter away into the sunrise because then the sun is showing me that it's a new beginning and I'm growing up to realise that I don't need to keep forcing myself to find love I want but let love find me to show what I need.
Since this is the last school year and I'm applying for another school - I've realised that I may never see you again and the 10years we've known each other will be soon forgotton. Maybe in the future we'll see each other in the middle of the street with families and a happy life.
We're now growing up and we have to accept that our lives and feelings can change. Although we don't like it, we have no choice but to let it in with a smile to show your not afraid.
Goodbye my first love.
Jess x
