Playing Strangers (Brendon Urie/P!ATD FanFic)

Build God Then We'll Talk

"Wait!" I screamed, lunging forward and rushing out of the room, bursting out into the bedroom hallway to see Ruby standing at the end of it, her back to me. "Please don't leave me. I don't want you to go."

She stood there for a little before glancing back at me and muttering, "I don't want to go, Brendon, but you've giving me no other choice. If you don't want to be with me anymore, you don't have to be."

"That's not it, Ruby!" I exclaimed, approaching her and slipping my  hands underneath her jawline, my thumb swiping across her soft, tear-stained cheeks,  "That's not it at all, trust me."

"Then tell me what it is, please," She begged, gripping onto my upper  arms and looking up into my eyes, "Tell me, and I'll stay. Don't tell me, and..." Her voice trailed off and her hands fell back to her sides, her sentence never coming to a conclusion. It didn't need to, though, because I knew what she was getting at, more than I would've liked to. She shrugged her shoulders and shook her head. "I just want to know what's going on,  Brendon. Why can't you tell me?"

"Because I don't want to hurt you, okay?" I confessed, a newfound aggressiveness to my tone, one I'd never had before when talking with her, "You're the last person I want to hurt, Ruby, and I know that if I tell you what's going on that...that you're not going to stay. So why tell you when the outcome is going to be the same no matter what?"

Her eyebrows knit together in confusion. "Wait, why wouldn't I stay, Brendon?"

"Because..." My voice trailed off and my gaze trailed down to my feet.

"Because..." She repeated, urging me to finish my sentence.

"Because I can't be with you!" I snapped, unable to keep myself together any longer and breaking down. The second those words slipped past my lips, Ruby's face went pale and she took a step back from me, her eyes widening ever so slightly. I heaved a sigh and ran a hand through my hair, tilting my head down and mumbling, "I just don't think we can be together anymore. At least, not right now."

"W-What do you mean?" She stammered, tears beginning to waver in her hazel colored eyes again and her lip starting to quiver.

"I mean it'd be better if we just end things now rather than we end things later," I forced myself to continue, a heavy weight on my chest as I endured the pain this confession was causing me. She just stared at me, her eyes glistening in the light from the fixture hanging from the ceiling in the hallway. "I don't want to ruin what we have.I like what we have, no, I love what we have, and I don't want it to end. I never want it to end, but it has to."

"Where is this coming from?" She croaked, her pain-filled gaze bearing into my soul.

I opened my mouth to respond to her, but the words wouldn't come out. It was like they were stuck in my throat, refusing to make themselves heard.

"Brendon, come on!" She screamed, pathetically smacking me on the chest as tears spilled from her eyes and streamed down her cheeks, "Just tell me! Tell me, goddammit..." She fell forward into my chest, clinging on to me as she began to sob. I'd only ever made her cry once before in our relationship, and then she was crying out of happiness. However, now, she was crying out of agony. If there was one thing I couldn't stand, it was seeing her cry, and knowing I was the reason she was crying.

I wrapped my arms around her and closed my eyes, biting my quivering lip. "Ruby, I'm sorry," I apologized, the heavy feeling weighing down on my chest intensifying as I held her close. "I-I just...there's too much going on in my life right now and I don't want you feeling like I'm ignoring you or anything."

She chuckled dejectedly and looked up at me, her eyes puffy and bloodshot. "Brendon, that's bullshit. You've ignored me your whole life. In school, when you were on tour...You didn't even introduce me to your parents until we moved into this apartment. I've always been your secret, this key to another life you live aside from the one you show to the world. I'm used to you ignoring me."

"You shouldn't be."

"I am, though, and I'm only okay with it because, even though you may ignore me, when we're together, it's like we have nothing to hide anymore. You tell me everything and I tell you everything. That's how it's always been. But now you're not and...and I don't like playing strangers anymore, Brendon. If you can't tell me what's going on, and why you said those things to me, then I'm out. We can break up and truly be strangers, once and for all."

I scoffed. "But that's not what I want."

"Well you can't have the best of both worlds, Brendon!" She cried, "I know that's how it's always been for you, but not anymore. You better talk or...or I'm out of here." Ruby took a step back from me and crossed her arms over her chest, however not before swiping the tears in her eyes away. I could tell that this decision was hard for her. It was hard for both of us.

When I didn't give her an immediate response, or anything of the like, she shook her head and turned away from me, walking into the living room and sitting down on the couch with her head in her hands. I frowned, knowing I should've just told her everything from the get-go. She would've understood, that was the kind of person she was, especially when it came to me. But I just couldn't bring myself to explain to her the situation.

I sighed and walked over to her, but the second I sat down beside her, she got up and walked away from me, closer to the door.

"Ruby, I just...why can't we move on from this? Like we always do?"

"Because you told me I'm not good enough!" She shouted, "Brendon, I get it that I'm not...as famous as you are, nor am I the prettiest girl out there, but you made me feel like I was, even before this stupid band was a thing."

My eyebrows furrowed together. "Did you just call my band stupid?"

Regret fell over her as she realized what she'd said. "Yes, Brendon, but I didn't-"

"Did you seriously just called my band stupid?" I repeated, standing up.

"I didn't mean it!"

"Just like I didn't mean that you weren't good enough for me," I retorted, slipping my hands into my pockets.

"That's different!"

"How so?"

She sighed. "I-I don't know, Brendon, but-"

"But nothing, Ruby," I cut her short, approaching her and shortening the distance between the two of us, making it so that there was almost no space in between us. "You know, maybe we should break up. Since I don't think you're good enough and you don't think my band is worth it, maybe we'd be better off apart."

A whole new set of tears formed in her eyes. "You're kidding me."

"No, I'm not," I stated, "If you want to go, then go. I'm not going to stop you. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't support me anyways."

A look of disbelief appeared on her face. "Someone who doesn't support you? Brendon, I've been there for you since we were kids!"

"Well obviously times have changed." I reached around her and wrapped my hand around the doorknob, pulling the door in. "So if you want to go, go. In fact, I implore you to."

My girlfriend stood there for a second or two before turning around and leaving the apartment with only the clothes on her back. I slammed the door behind her and fell against it. I slid down to the ground, bringing my hands up to my face as I failed to hold back the tears that flooded from my eyes.

...I don't like playing strangers anymore, Brendon...If you can't tell me what's going on, and why you said those things to me, then I'm out...