Have you ever felt empty? That's how I feel every single day, well not every single day but some days are good and others are bad, really bad.
On times like this... when my mind is flying I always remember him, And how I wish to have done things differently.
My eyes start to get full of tears and I fight the urge of breaking down here, in a public place.
"Don't you think that you may look better if you change the color of your hair?" my mom said, interrupting my thoughts. Thank God.
She was looking at a dress she just pick from the hanging bar in the store we where.
I rolled my eyes. I'm tired of this conversation. It's been going on since I dye my hair, so it means 3 months ago.
"I'm just saying that it will be good for you to have a decent hair color, you are studying law Krystal. Act and look like as if you are already a lawyer".
I'm about to enter in my second year of law and this subject doesn't seem to cease. The 'act like a like a lawyer, dress like one, talk like one'
"I'm keeping the color, I love blue. It's not the big deal mom. I'm young. I'm allowed to have fun"
She looked at me with severe eyes. "No one will take you seriously Krystal... It's time to grow up".
Damn it! More?
On the way back home, Roger, my stepdad, and my mom were arguing. As always.
My little sister was covering her ears with her hands, I tried to follow her example with earphones instead of hands.
The "family bonding" thing, that my mom thinks we do everytime that my three year old sister, stepdad, mom and I hang out.
Is kind of delusional when my stepdad and I don't even exchange more than 5 word per day, and my little sister hates me.
Every time we hang out, it ends with them fighting.
It gets me anxious... I hate conflicts.
I was the kind of person that will have an answer for everything and love to argue if I had a different point of view.
But since that day...
I looked at the window, trees and buildings passing by. Today is one of those days. The bad ones, the ones I can't control my emotions like I wish to.
When we finally got to the house I locked myself in my room, ignoring the request of my mom on having dinner together, and went to sleep.
Sleep solves everything... Sleep cuts time and makes me stop thinking.
The next day I was doing my little routine, running, breakfast and getting ready for my sophomore year. Kind of excited about the new subjects in the degree.
"Hey psycho..." I answered my phone to one of my best friends. I only have two for the record.
"Hey buttface! How is it going?" Alex said.
Alex and Mel are my best friends and we know each other since kindergarden. Weird to have those kind of friendships where you tell 90% of the things. They are my rock.
"Going to the bus stop, and you? By the way it's odd that you are calling me, we always text"
There was a long silence. "Well... I got the scholarship!" she said excited, almost yelling.
I smiled instantly. "I told you! I told you'll get it. Oh Alex I'm so happy for you!"
"Krys, I can't even speak. I'm so excited to finish my degree in Germany. It's crazy!" I can imagine her smiling widely. She was so excited and nervous for this.
"I need to call Mel, you are the first person I called, let's talk later"
"Ok Al, I'm so happy for you! Love you! I said and hung up.
God Al have been waiting for this and I'm excited for her, she have been learning german since three years ago and she is obsessed with Germany.
When I got to the bus stop I had to run to catch the bus of the university. I found an individual seat on the back of the bus.
My mind started to overthink, on how I will be without Alex here, on how I'm extremely happy for her but sad about not having her here.
Don't get me wrong, Mel will be here and I love her just as much as Alex, but Alex and I have more in common and I feel like she understand my struggles like no one else.
Oh God. Germany is very far away from Chicago... and it makes me nervous how will affect our friendship.
Stop thinking... Everything will be okay. A fourteen year old friendship doesn't destroy that easily.
After an half an hour I got in the university, I took the paper with the number of the classroom for my first class.
Classroom fifty six. Second floor then.
I walked fast trying to not get late and looking the numbers of the classrooms in the door when I bumped into someone.
I fall in my butt "Shit...".
I heard a chuckle "I'm sorry" I heard. It was a deep-raspy voice. Sexy voice.
"Can I help you?" said the person, I'm sure he was grinning and it pissed me off.
"Thank you... no" I said, got up and finally saw his face.
Well... Holy Shit.
His hair was like sandy blonde, thick eyebrows, chiseled jaw and I left the best for last.
Blue eyes... Blue fucking-ocean-like eyes.
Blue eyes that showed confussion about rejecting his help.
"I'm not a damsel in distress" I said in an aggressive tone, trying to brush off the attraction I was feeling for him.
"Well sorry for trying to be a gentleman" he said frowning.
I chuckled, not because of what he said. Because he looked like a cute little kid frowning.
Dangerous...
I start to walk away from him and finally enter to the class.
I greeted my classmates with a simple "Good Morning" and found a sit.
After, maybe, twenty minutes a professor entered in the classroom with Mr. Gentleman guy.
"Good Morning students" He greeted us and started saying encouraging words for this new year.
"This is Jongin Kim, he took a one year break and is glad to be back" The professor said and Mr. Gentleman eyes land on mine with a little hint of amusement.
It seems that my love for blue will intensify.
A/N: Well First CHapter!! Yayyy. I'm excited! to be honest writing this is kind of difficult for me and you'll know why as the story goes on.
Please leave your comments down below and this is just the beginning of a long journey.
THANK YOU TO ANYONE WHO IS READING THIS!
YOU ARE READING
Heal Me
Fanfiction"The truth is... I never felt more alone in my life. The urgency to push everyone away never been so strong as it is now. It is right? It is wrong? I don't know, but what I do know, is that even though, I want him as far away as possible, at the...
