the day i left

PROLOGUE

"goddamnit.." i protested as i look in my closet for my suit just to see it was not there.

Well that's not surprising.

given the fact that my room is a one hell of a dirty maze. I should've expected it to somewhere where the least it should be, and where would that be? under the bed!

I bent down to see if it's under the bed... And believe or not it's not there...
"oh fuck!!!! im gonna be late!" i scream from the top of my lungs, hurriedly ran downstairs and into my car.

That's right, forget about your suit! and go there wearing that and lookin like an idiot..asshole.

I drove fast to my destination.

When i arrived everyone was there including the priest and they were already starting the ceremony.
I parked my car and went in some of the trees at the back of the river. Near enough to hear the priest and far enough for them not to notice me.

The sky started to rumble and soon the rain flowed down upon us as her family,relatives and friends' tears stain their cheeks.

After the funeral, her 13 year old sister talked to me.
"hey".
"hey condolence" i greeted her and gave her a pat on her back.

"why didnt you go there?" she asked me.

Well,maybe i didnt want to.

Just kidding.
"I kinda feel bad about what i did"
"well, what you did was kinda hard but, at somepoint you were right" she responded .

Stop makin me feel good about myself kid,you dont know anything yet.

"Soo.." I placed my hands in my pocket. "Now that she's not here anymore, maybe you might wanna mmm... You know,hit it sometime?"

She giggled at the site of something she couldnt believe
"you are crazy.. You know if she was still here,she'd be punching right now"
"Sooo?? is it a yes?" i continued teasing her.
"ugh!! i cant believe you-"
"is it a yes?"
"what the he-"
"yes?"
"oh come o-"
"what is a ye-"
"NO!!".
I laughed at the site of her being so annoyed.
"that's a good girl" i said as i patted her head."you got two lessons there"

she looked at me confused

"there's two lessons you can learn from what just happen. One from me and one from your sister."
I sat down on the grass then offered her a sit, and she immediately sat down.
"soo? what's the lesson?" she asked.

"well,the first one ..you can learn from me" i pointed myself "you need to know when to say no and how to say no and mean it."

"wooow, that is so helpful" she gave me a look of sarcasm.
"You know,youre growing up pretty sure oneday your gonna be surrounded with peers, im pretty sure their gonna be "Always" inviting you to late night parties-"

"always?" she questioned."i dont it would be"ALWAYS"?! "she told me with an emphasis on the ALWAYS.

"dont question my logic kiddo.. Now,when that happens you gotta have to now how resist it if it's too much and say no"
"uhu"
"remember your gonna be alone now "
"you cant party too much you know... you might get pregnant and everything you know.."

"gosh! Did you really have to say that?!?!"

"yes ofcourse!, let's be real here your a teen now and i cant promise you that i'll always be here,and your sister's not here anymore..well, im pretty sure if she's still here i dont think she'll be able to takecare of you"

"cause she's always on her parties" we said in unison.

Then we laughed as we both know how she's so into her parties.

If she's not in the party she's probably blacked out or maybe sleeping with some guy...

dont judge me...just saying

"what's the second one?"she asks.

"well,the second one is,you gotta learn how to be persistent.. You gotta learn how bribe people" i said with a powerful emotion gushing out.

"how is that gonna help me?" she asks.

"ahh.. You really dont know life hu.." talking like a monk while caressing my non-exsistent beard.
"you see being persistent is one of the things you need to have in order to have a successul life and to be able to bribe anyone.. Now that is something.."
"you know how your sister always gets what she wants..and no matter how many absence she has she always got a new decent high-paying job evrytime she gets fired.?"

"that because of her..."

"bribing-skills" we said in unison as we laughed our ass out.

We sat in there for a moment reminiscing all the memories we got and me, trying to immitate her voicein the ugliest possible way.

"you know.. And she's like: hey you give me that phone or i'll break your neck and-"

while i was in the middle of my storytelling/mimicing her sister, she suddenly cried.

Great job making her feel better by reminding her the good times she had with her sister.. Bully

"hey,hey... It's ok, go on let it all out"

Our laughs that was so crisp suddenly turned in to her sobbing.
"i *sob* *sob* miss her so much *sob* "
"it's ok everything will be alright"i said as i continue to comfort her.

I think.

Boom! boom! Boom!

wait? is there an earthquake..

Then before i knew it somebody kicked me in the butt  literally

"whmauh!"i exhaled in pain.

I looked at the feet that touched my holy butt.
God.ginormous as fuck!
What kind of a freakin feet is that?

and that pointy shoes who wears that?

I looked up to see the face and..
"oohh.. Its the ugly mothe- I... I mean the most beautiful person i've ever met" that was close.

She looked at me in a very bad way..
Or maybe thats just how she looks like?

sometimes i do wonder where this two sisters got their beauty from..

"what are you doing to my daughter? hummm?!"
she said with an angry fake british accent.

Did she really have to put on that accent.
Cause it amazing as fuck!

she kept on blabbering,and blabbering,and blabbering.. Tough nothing comes into my head.
You know whenever i hear that voice my brain instantly translates anything it says into white noise. Like. Anything.

Except.For.This.

"You know! If it wasnt for you?!? If you sticked by her side!! she wouldnt have died!"

then i was just left there in a trans.

Rain started to fall down agian but i just stand there. Looking back at the past. Telling myself how bumb my decision was. telling myself that im the one at fault agian.

Could've used the coat you know.

This isnt what i wanted. I need to do something.

I hurriedly went to my car.. And to my surprise...
My coat was at the back seat.

Goddamnit!

i drove as fast as i could to my appartment packed my bags and drove anywhere. Anywhere faraway from here.