INFECTED

M.O.T ( moment of truth)

This tea was the only thing still keeping me all together, the smell was my comfort and each hot sip I took kept my tears in my eyes. As I crossed my legs with each sip of my tea looking at him, I can't even see him the same way anymore, as so many thoughts were invited in my head, and only the tea could hold me. I looked at him eating his food and watching his time he was so much in hurry at 10:00pm the same time with  moment of truth that happened yesterday, not knowing what emotion to choose should I be mad or should I be sad.
how could he be so careless?
what happened to family first?

How could he even let this happen to him and not tell all of us?

Then he quickly stood up after eating, opened the door carefully and went inside the toilet, as I sat there with my tea almost lukewarm and confused in my emotions.

I quickly cleared the dishes in deep thoughts not knowing who to talk to, who to tell anything about what's going on or what to say, this secret is one of the biggest family secret meant for all but told to few, every one knew about this for 7 years except me I was just told yestarday about the big secret which I can't keep to myself or let anyone know about, this secret made me so mad and at the same time sad,  I was mad for not being told early and sad for been told now and I couldn't just keep this big secret to myself anymore. I was so choked up with this thought that I couldn't even hear my sister call my name right behind me,
Lisa! Lisa!

Then I quickly turned and muttered below my tiny voice yes.....
just by the sound of my voice you could tell i have been crying for hours I couldn't, even think straight at work or listen to any new gossip.

What's wrong with you?.
Why are you so lost? She said

pretending like she wasn't the one who told me about the big secret meant for few family members .. I nodded my head is slow motion..
go have your bath they are about to turn off the generator, you really don't want to be late on probation period.. she said walking out the door, I just started working at the new Electronics store in town and am still on probation, I have been on probation for 4 weeks now, probation here is normally for 2 week after 2 weeks and you still can't keep up you are kicked out, but they have refused to put me in the sales department, they probably see me as threat to the other sales girls because I learnt everything in less than 7 days or maybe because am black, the whitemen always find it difficult putting the black girls in the sales department early...
  So I quickly rushed to the shower the time is past 11 more like 11:15pm and my brother had already turned off the gen  so I had my bath in the dark and when I was about to lie on my bed my sister called me to her room and suggested we sleep together, probably because she was scared or she wanted to talk to me about everything for me to be cleared, because last MOT was just shocking for Me and wasn't probably explained.  We were quiet for about 10 mins then I unlocked the question and answer section,

How did this all this happen?..
Why didn't you tell me on time?
How could he be so careless? .. giving no break.

3 minutes she was quiet and didn't say a thing , the room was dark I couldn't tell if she was sleeping so I repeated myself to be sure,

So howww... just be careful she said cutting me short, 
we didn't want to tell you because you were too young to know and we were afraid you couldn't handle it or keep your mouth closed,but now you are older we can trust you or can't we. I kept quiet and she said just go to bed tomorrow you will be ok... i agreed with her by shaking my head

and yes  before i forget what about the white men what are they saying about the the job?

hmmm....those people I can't  tell or predict their behaviour I said.

She laughed and said psychlieogy
That's how she says psychology all the time because that is what I study ,she still believes it's not impossible to predict people's behaviour. only God can do that the rest are all psyche imitation.