Tears Of Sin

The Mango Tree

The tea pot whistled loudly.Such a sound reminded of the painful screams and howling of the innocent being brutally slaughtered back in the war of 1972.How many lives did I allow to die to save myself only?I could barely even sip a cup of tea,I shakily placed the cup down and made my way out to my backyard.I gently placed my palm against the bark of the mango tree that I had walked upon.I remember having my father lift me up and and let me pick the mangoes off the tree,and we would sit under tree and eat them.Sometimes when mother would liked it,she'd make us mango pie,my favorite.And even when she told me not to lick the plate,I still did.I sighed and laid on the grass.

The Suns warmth-filled rays lightly kissed my cheek ,soon having my entire body filled with I gazed upon the clouds.My AuntMargaret used to lay her and look at all the clouds,and say what we thought they looked like.
"That one looks like a duck." I said.
The fun times were over now,before I could let out a single letter of what another cloud looked like,I started having the visions again.Once in awhile,I'd have visions of the wars mortifying moments.
"Get out of my head!!" I yelled gripping my head tightly.
I saw how my best friend James looked me in the eye and told me that we were gonna beat this,and that the enemy,they were no match for us.If only I had remembered that before I ran away,and allowed him to be killed.

I won't lie,I was scared of the war,I wasn't even properly skilled to actually live in the first place."We need all the help we can get,you are risking your life for the sake of your country!" Yelled the commander.I stood silent,studying the place around me,looking for a perfect exit the enemy walked in on us."Guess I should kill you now?" Asked their supposed leader.With no hesitation my team ran out after the enemy,and the enemy did the same to us.I went to a hiding spot,under some large ripping of tree bark.I heard loud screaming,and running from the horses.It was silent for a moment,and I decided to check out what had happened,maybe the war had ended.But no,it didn't.Just as I rose from the pile of tree bark,I stood to see commander on the floor wielding many stab wounds.The enemy leader had been right over him,holding a sword to his neck."Any last words?" he said.

"Drew if your watching this,I know your alive." He said."Why,just why would you allow us to die?" He said painfully,a bit angry."Was this your whole plan all along,to get us killed?!" He screamed.Before I could even blink,the sword drove across his neck,and sliced his head off.My eyes widened,my pupils shrinked.

I eventually found myself back in reality,I blinked continuously to make sure of it.But the true reality was that I would never beat this.Not now at least.I got up from the ground and made my way inside my towards the kitchen.I looked in the fridge - empty."Well I'll be damned." I said.As empty was my heart and soul,I said in my head.As lost as I was upon who I was and what I had done,I knew that I do over exaggerate things in my daily life.But there is no exaggeration in the desperate need to guilt in this tro-,damn it I'm doing it again.