Unrequited Love!

I won't do this often but I gotta share this. It has a pretty ending, thought.

It starts in 8th grade. I met (stalked)someone who to this date I still feel is some sort of soulmate to me. He refused to talk to people for the entire first year (he was new) so I watched from afar and slowly sunk into a pit as I became aware that  he would never be interested in me.
Probably said only two words to the guy but cried everyday after school.

The next year we both got into an art school together (in the middle of the school day we would ride a bus to different school almost an hour away everyday) I was the only person he remotely knew,so he followed me around,and we started having long conversations on the bus ride to school. We eventually became friends. Except,he refused to accept the invitation to my birthday party and I am pretty sure he refused to have any 'friends' in general so I was just someone he talked to. Nevertheless, I would cry less and things seemed better.

But one day he stopped. Stopped talking to me (eventually ignored me when I spoke to him) and after school I started crying again,every fucking day,sometimes even before I got home I had to hide my face with my backpack.

I'm VERY SURE I concealed my feelings for him,i was very aware of the situations  I knew if I could tell him that I like him he would pretty sure never look at me. I was so fucking careful,so anxious
Being around him because I didnt wanna mess up......and  suddenly acts as if I don't exists.

Of course I messed up that's what I thought but I don't know what that. He would tall causally with everyone but not me. He would say positive things during my classmates critics but during mine he would not even look up. I noticed EVERYTHING. I contained EVERYTHING. I nerve told anyone about my feelings. My heart was heavy and it was hard to breath. I thought my life was coming to an end just because of the amount of the physical pain I was going through.

At the end of the year we had a juried art show ,where I entered all my pieces in,my fucking dumb self portrait got in- one where I suppressed all my emotions out. And I won the 3rd place. It was insane for any freshman to win a place in the art show. All my classmates congratulated me and we all excited for me ,on the other hand I heard seniors muttering how shitty the judges were and also commented by saying how shit and juvenile the portrait was (I did not bother about anyone cause I was not attached to that piece and I even knew it was a juvenile)  but the guy who I cared for didn't even congratulated me he went and spoke to my friends also commented by saying good thing to their pieces but didn't even look at me once. 

shortly after the show we had a weekend trip to NEWYORK CITY i sat beside him in the bus . he was already sitting when i got on, it was perfect.except we didnt talk the entire time.he spoke to one of my friends for some time who was sitting behind us and i was burning alive.the three of us and one other girl were the only freshmans in this trip. after we got down from the bus we all spoke to each other and enjoyed by playing games.after all the fun we all got back into the bus and sat at the same places he decided to sleep right away so there was no talking again. as soon as it got dark i decided to pull the most stupid move in the world - pretending to fall asleep by leaning near him.uh i wasnt brave enough to tough him,i was an inch away and the bus stopped for dinner break and he got up and ran into my head and realised i had been sleeping close to him he got back to sleep again after the dinner breke and HIS FUCKING LEG WAS TOUCHING MINE and i leaned close to him again and i started to cry because i knew what was going on.

this went on for 4 hours heart rate too fast and non stop sweating,straining of muscles to lean close , feeling like i was dying. when we got home i didnt even see him get off the bus.i was so mad at myself about it,and cried on the way hom e ,which thankfully was dark for anyone to notice  .luckily my parents already agreed i could skip school the next day cause of the tiredness of the trip . when i finally went back to school he actually talked to me about the trip. just generic stuff ,recalling memories.it didnt last long , he went back to not talkng to me.

over the summer he finally got  a facebook account.he accepted my friend request but ignored commenting or liking any of his stuff.i did watch him closely though and i was miserable and hated myself.school starts again and i am in 10th grade. a new freshman in the art school with purple hair i became his friend fast,and my crush hated him.he ended up being the first person who i told about my crush.after allthe feelings i had for my crush i ended up in relation with purp.slowly my feelings started transfered  away.and finally i fell in love with him.it still hurts about the first guy but i love the purp a lot now.'and few more months down the road-my boyfriend became friends with this my ex crush ........they became friends?and he starts playing minicraf with us 

all this happened really fast and we eventually became friends and made a group on facebook for our minicraft friends . and started talking to each other there also.the last 2 years of high school we were great friends and we becamme closer but i prtended no to show him that i loved him before and i controlled my self from falling in love.first year our dormswere very close next to each other and i was found most of the times in his room sometimes under his blanket watching a horror movie and screaming to death.

he dropped out of school, his family moved away but he messages me ever single day on facebook i now live in an apartment with my purp hair boyfriend[we have  been together since five years] one day my crush message me saying hey wanted to tell u something personal i message back by saying even i have to tell you.i eventually had to tell him everything from the past i told him everything ,about how i used to be madly in love with him ,and he is the reason i am part of purp. it was a message longer than this story i cried while typing everyword.

he reads it after a very long pause he replies the reason y i was not friendly to cause i dont like girls i have interst in boys and me and purp r gay i am sorry i had to telk u this cause purp was cheating on u i am sorry ...........reading this message i fell off from the chair onto the ground and collapsed......