Frustration [Narry AU]

Part II

Niall Horan hated autumn. He hated the way the leaves would turn fiery, a mixture of red and orange and yellow. He hated how they fell and cluttered the sidewalks and his yard, and just about everywhere. He particularly disliked the way the temperature dropped where it was not quite freezing, but not exactly summer-like either. It was those in-between types of cold, but not nearly cold enough to wear overcoats and mittens.

It was definitely not because laughter and giggles would echo in his mind. Not because memories of endless days playing in leaf piles and exchanging mugs of cocoa would flash through his mind. Neither is it because of the whispered secrets of childhood memories would resurface, lost times of splashing through the autumn rain in over-sized rainboots and an umbrella, giggling and running around. Absolutely not because of the drizzly rain that seemed to never end that also came hand in hand with cuddling under warm covers and bonding over terrible music.

No. It was purely because it was those times where woollen jumpers and over-sized sweaters were exactly what the weather called for. And not to mention those hand-knit scarves he'd had to pull out from the back of his closet after six months of not having the need for them. And most of all, it was because it signalled the beginning of a school term. A school term spent alone; lost and abandoned by the one he gave everything to.

What he hated the most about autumn was the cold, and the fact that he had no one to keep him warm. No one to make silly jokes about how pumpkins and apples were casually strewn around as household decorations to imitate the North American way of celebrating Thanksgiving.

His heart ached. It's been a month. One antagonizing month that would lead to eternity. Everything hurt. How could he have given up what they've built up together for so long just for four casual years?

Try as he might, he could not forget the vacant look in those familiar, green eyes he spent days staring into. The emotionless way he'd spoken when he'd broke the news to Niall. He could not forget how everything fell apart then, how he'd sobbed and screamed at him. How all he was left with was his name lingering on his lips as he walked away.

Harry.

The object of his nightmares and shadows. The reason why he hated autumn, and just about everything else. When he left, he took everything, everything, including Niall's will to live. Along with him, Harry took every memory that they shared, every broken shard of Niall's heart left.

Oh how Niall wished he could go back to the blissful days of summer where Harry and him had spent endless days together, fooling around in the sun and staring up at into the starry sky during the nights. Life was so easy then. All that really mattered was that Harry and him were together.

All the life was seemingly sucked right out of him when Harry left. Why did he have to go? Why did he have to end it all?

Now Niall was merely an empty shell living through his days, barely talking, barely eating. What was the point of being here when Harry obviously didn't want him? When the time they'd had together could be so easily tossed aside by Harry as if it were another vapour in the wind when to Niall it was everything.

School didn't matter. It wasn't the same without Harry. It didn't help either, the fact that every time he walked out of the front doors he would be greeted by the sight of those peachy walls that covered the house across the street. The very house he'd first given himself to Harry in. The very house where memories were built since he was in his diapers, running around squealing and being chased by the older boy.

Why did he have to be a year younger? Would Harry still love him if he were older? Would Harry still be with him were it not for his age?

Bitter thoughts plagued his mind. Of course Harry would leave, why would he want you when he could easily have older, more experienced people in university?