Through the Walls

part i

Joonmyun's heartbeat is steady nowadays. Sometimes he isn't sure if it's beating at all. He hears the slam of a door and raised voices in the apartment next to his and remembers a time when his blood pulsed red and fiery throughout his body.

Now he's left only with scabs lingering as an ugly reminder of the pain that once existed.

A crash of glass—in his own apartment, not his neighbor's. His last photo of the two of them is lying on the floor now, covered by a mosaic of shattered glass. His last reminder of what they once were.

The sight of Changmin's chestnut eyes and secretive smile doesn't make Joonmyun feel sad anymore. He doesn't cry—he never cries these days—when he remembers what Changmin said to him. Joonmyun just lets a numbness settle into his bones as the words of this stranger wash over him again.

"We were going to end eventually, and you knew it. You have to face the fact that some things aren't meant to last forever."

It was like being knocked over, just when he learned how to stand. In moments like these Joonmyun reflects on what Changmin told him and wonders how he could have ever thought differently.

He sweeps the shards of glass into a plastic bag and drops it into a wastebasket. The photograph follows soon after.

It's quiet in his neighbor's apartment now. Another slam of the door, and heels clicking down the hallway towards the elevator. It must be Seohyun, his neighbor Chanyeol's girlfriend. They've been through a tumultuous six months together. Joonmyun and his roommate Sehun have heard most of it through their thin walls.

Joonmyun hears sobs now, the wailing, indulgent kind that Joonmyun has only seen in movies. He feels a sharp jolt of pain along his temples. This isn't the first time Joonmyun's mildly annoying neighbor has given him a headache from being too loud.

Not knowing what else to do, Joonmyun digs through his freezer for an old tub of ice cream and grabs a plastic ice cream scoop from the kitchen before heading next door.

"Hey, are you okay–?"

"Hyung!"

Chanyeol grabs Joonmyun in a bear hug and buries his face into his shoulder.

"You–won't–believe–what–happened–today–" he hiccups, steering Joonmyun toward his sofa. Joonmyun hadn't planned on visiting Chanyeol's apartment for long, but he resigns to the fact that he's pretty much stuck now.

"Did Seohyun break up with you?"

"SEOHYUN BROKE UP WITH ME," Chanyeol sobs, collapsing onto his lap. "I don't know how you dealt with Changmin dumping you after he graduated, but this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me."

"There, there," Joonmyun murmurs, hesitantly smoothing Chanyeol's thick, soft black hair away from his forehead. "I brought you ice cream."

"Thanks, hyung," Chanyeol sniffles, smiling at Joonmyun through his tears.

Joonmyun hates how he thinks that Chanyeol looks kind of cute like this. He quashes the feeling, because the last thing he needs right now is to develop a crush on the unavailable straight boy next door.

They've lived next door to each other for some time now, but he can count the number of times he's been in Chanyeol's apartment on one hand. Up until recently, Joonmyun always spent more of his hours at Changmin's place than his own.

"Want to talk about it?"

Chanyeol clutches the tub of ice cream against his stomach, digging into it forcefully with the scoop. "She says that I don't care about her enough. That I'm only dating her because I hate being single, and that I need to sort my validation issues out before we can be in a serious relationship."