those nights

There are nights when we fall asleep happy knowing life's ok,but they don't last.just like that their taken from us,dreams and feelings crushed.crushed by words,or happenings that we cannot control,no matter how much we want to.and it's nights like those when we lose control,nights like those when we break down and show our true selfs,and the feelings we've been suppressing.on those nights we cry our selves to sleep,and keep our music loud,and our voices quiet . We hide ourselves from the world,hoping that it will all just go away,but it never does. The feelings for the person you know will never feel the same ,the insecurities,the emptiness. We'll look through pictures,reminisce in memories,and just try to relive times that made us happy,and for a while it works and we learn to hide emotions and lie about feelings until it feels natural. But then it happens,that person we've tried so hard to get over,those insecurities,the emptiness and loneliness,it all comes back and ruins us once again. So we begin to build our walls higher and higher,raising our guard,not letting anyone in,or showing them our emotions until it becomes routine. We become robots controlled by our feelings and the walls we've built to try and hide them.robots enslaved by fear,wanting nothing more then someone to hold us,and whisper comforting things in our ears, someone we can talk to,who will heal the scars and pains in our hearts. Someone that will say I love you,and mean it, that will call us beautiful even if we simply blush and look down claiming that we're not. That is the dream of so many of us,the dream that we fear will become a nightmare and crush us once again,killing all feelings.so we push the dream away,letting scenarios run through our minds making us feel ten times worse then before.and it will always be like this,our feelings either letting us sleep happy or keeping us up. We will always go through horrid days and nights but in the end it will lead us to something beautiful. Something,or someone that will change our lives forever.

~~~~that's all for now :) I'll write more poems if anyone would like :) ~gabby