I Need You

Louis isn't so perfect

This is my first fanfiction so please if you have any suggestions at all, leave them in the comments! Remember to vote! Thank you!!!!

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~LOUIS POV~

            I sat on my bed on twitter reading all the hate messages people have sent me. They keep calling me gay, faggot, fat, ugly, worthless and the worst thing is, I am all those things. Yeah that’s right, im gay. I haven’t told anyone because it’s disgusting, no one will ever want to talk to me again if I tell them. I mean I know harry is openly bi, but that’s different, he still likes girls…kinda.(AN: I know Harry isn’t actually openly bisexual, but in this fanfic he is) And to top it all off, im falling for him. His intoxicating eye and luscious curls make me swoon. I don’t see how anyone could like me if I tell them I’m gay; I’m just a waste of space.

            That urge comes rushing through me and I know what I have to do. I go into my bathroom and lock the door. I lift up the secret door in my cabinet and pull out my stash. I take a clean, sharp razor straight to my wrist. I think about all the hateful things people have sent to me, and before I realize it, I am already cutting myself. I make more and more cuts on both wrists until there are 10 cuts on each wrist. That’s when I hear Liam call me downstairs. SHIT! I need to clean up now!! Quickly, I clean my cuts out, put away my stash and get a sweatshirt to cover up the cuts. I take a glance in the mirror and see myself. I look so broken, I don’t even look like myself anymore and I think the lads have noticed as well. I can’t believe it’s gotten this bad. All I ever wanted to do was stop feeling the way that I did, and now I look like a dead man walking. My body is covered in scars, from head to toe. I weigh 98 pounds, but I still want to lose 10 (sorry im from America). In the span of a year I’ve become a monster, and the worst part is I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to stop. I hate the pain, but at the same time I love it. I know im slowly killing myself but I can’t stop.

            “LOUIS COME ON” Liam shouted. Oh yeah he called me earlier. I put on my best fake smile and head downstairs.

            “There you are, what were you doing up there?” Niall asked. Oh shit what am I supposed to say? C’mon Louis just think of something…

            “I was going to the bathroom” I said, but it came out more like a question. I mean I wasn’t completely lying I was in the bathroom, just not using the toilet.

            “Oh ok then” Harry said although he had a questioning look on his face.

            “So why did you guys call me down here?” I asked. I actually had no idea what was going on, not that I usually did anyways.

            “Well, we’ve noticed you’ve been acting weird lately and we just wanted to know what’s wrong” Harry said. They all had concerned looks on their faces. How the hell was I going to do this? There is no way im telling them any of my secrets. But how am I going to pull this off?

            “I um I just haven’t felt well lately that’s all” I stumbled out. Hopefully that will work, but with the looks on their faces I doubt it.

            “Louis I believe that you haven’t felt well, hell you look like a skeleton, but I think there’s something else going on here” Liam said. Shit I knew it, damn it why does this stuff happen to me? I can’t let anything slip out there’s no way that’s gunna happen.

            “I promise you guys I’m fine I’ve just felt a bit ill lately” I said nervously. This may fool Niall and Zayn but there’s no way its fooling Liam or Harry, especially Harry. He knows me better than any of them.