It's In The Past

Balance.

     "Do you love me Terry?"

     I rubbed my swollen eyes just to put them back on the whiskey glass that stood before me. I tried to fix my uncomfortable position on the red leather bar stool and received a squeak in response.

      "Did you give up on me?"

      I just lost my job and I have no idea how to tell my wife. She'll be livid considering I forgot our anniversary yesterday.

      "Because I've never given up on you..."
    
     I saw the texts on her phone. I never forgot our anniversary. June 18, 2000. She told me I was a day early. Who cares. I wrapped the promise ring that I gave her years ago. She threw it and said it wasn't hers. It doesn't matter anyway.  I found the nude pictures she was sending to my bestfriend Ron. That's sorta how I lost my job...I only slammed his face into the copy machine a few times. As long as it wiped that toothy smirk off his sarcastic face.
      I brought the glass to my lips and swallowed fire. My fingers trembled like they were dancing.
     "Look man I think you've had enough tonight." The bar tender pushed the glass out of reach. "Trust me it's for your own good. I've seen a ton or you guys pass through here and it all ends the same, they all eventually end up fallin' on their ass." He smirked recalling the moment.
    
    "Yeah, well, this isn't usually how I usually spend my nights." I put my cold fingers against my now warm forehead.
     
    "Well, the way you look right now makes me assume this is going to be an everyday thing. Trust me, I've had this job for a while. I mean, in a way, it makes my paycheck go up." He remarked shrugging and began wiping a glass down with a faded yellow rag.
     
     "Maybe I'll change that tradition." I growled at him through my clenched teeth.
     
     "Listen," his name tag read Reggie, "let me tell you now boy, history is destined, no, doomed to repeat itself. Ya' can't change the past kid, and surely not the future." My dreary vision wasn't too vivid and his shining bald head wasn't exactly helping. Though the lights were dim, it provided a deadly glare.

     "No, you listen. I'm not a boy, I'm a 32 year old man."

      He smirked and shook his head standing up straight once again. "Oh yeah, you'll be back. It all goes downhill for chaps like you."

      "If I were you I'd shut my mouth real quick."

      "If I were you, I'd get my ass out of here because you're bad for business. Scarin' all my regulars away." I took a glance around to see people eyeing me. "Listen, boy, Im over 56. I've been here since about your age. Get yourself out of here. That will determine whether you change your future." Reggie pat me on my shoulder and walked off to serve an older man that had scooted to the far right. Who does this guy think he is? Telling me my destined future...but...then again he was exactly right. It's not like I can change anything. Future or past. Amy will no doubt leave me, I'll end up drinking myself to death, and this wise guy over here will be laughing in my face saying I told you so.

     I let out a bitter laugh and ran my fingers through the greasy black strands of hair that fell on my sweaty forehead. I did feel like shit to be honest. It's hard to believe that a few years ago I was working my dream job. I knew Amy since 10th grade and we connected immediately . Those were the years. Everyone wanted to know me, be me, or they strived to date me. But for me there was only Amy.

     Of course...there was someone else, but it's not worth talking about because we promised never to see each other again. That's just how life is most of the time. In my mind there was only Amy. It wasn't a mistake anyhow. I don't remember it too well, but it's in the past.

     I twisted my body to where I was standing up. Once again the chair squeaked and so did a few people when they saw my body lurch forward. I had fallen on my hands and knees. I lifted my head to where I could find a place to escape. I have to see my wife. I'll beg my way back into her heart. I'm sure if I buy her something she'll get over it sooner then later.

    "Hey, destiny guy, try not to puke on my floors. I'll call you a cab." When he migrated to the back I ignored his words and continued on. I'm not letting him do anything for me. I'll make sure to hurl on his floors next time.

     Next time.

     I threw myself off  his sticky floor and tossed my body towards the glass door. It opened with a swing and it banged against the brick wall. I could hear Reggie yelling about how expensive that glass door was behind my shoulder, but the door closed. His words weren't very clear in the first place so now all you could here was slight murmurs. I smirked and walked forward. My car's across in the other parking lot. I limped across the street feeling the pain in my foot. It must of happened when I fell on the tile floors. I stopped to check. I obviously hadn't felt it earlier, but there was a shard of glass lodged in my ankle. "Mother Fucker."

     I slid my pant leg down and slowly went back up.

Then I was sideways.
Then I was rolling.
Then I was flying.
Then it went silent.
Then I felt death...

     "Do you love me Terry?"

    Then it all exploded, the silence turned into sirens, flying turned into falling, death turned into bliss.

    "Did you give up on me?"

    Bliss turned to Hell.

     "Because. I've never given up on you..."