thrice atsushi has saved dazai (and the one time dazai couldnt)
(3+1)
***
i.
All atsushi wanted was to have money for food, not to save a man from a river.
The man looked peaceful asleep (Atsushi wouldn't ever admit it but he also looked handsome) and it made Atsushi not want to wake him, but that can't be for he needed to know if he saved a dying man or a dead man.
To top it off, the certain man didnt even want to be saved and all atsushi's effort just goes down the drain.
The first time, atsushi saves dazai from drowning.
ii.
All atsushi wanted was to have a peaceful day, not a man to save from dying once more.
Though as he has come to know dazai, atsushi knows he wouldn't die that easily, but he couldnt ever take the risk of his new found light to flicker,
And as he saw dazai's body falling towards the ocean, atsushi couldnt help but let his body move instinctively and immediately jump off, whether it be to catch dazai or shield him from the impact, it didnt matter.
His arms wrap around dazai and they plunge in the freezing water.
The second time, atsushi wasnt quite sure if he did it for dazai or himself.
iii.
All atsushi wanted was a normal life, not a man to save from his suicidal intentions, but he thinks that was too much to expect from himself.
Heterochromatic pierces dull brown and an unspoken conversation starts between the two.
Gloved hands clutched bandaged wrists and squeezes them softly, reassuringly, silently pleading to not let go-- not knowing that the other already has started falling.
A sad smile appears on atsushi's face and dazai tries to return it.
The third time, atsushi (believes to have) saved dazai from hurting himself.
iv.
All dazai wanted was to save the orphan boy from his cruel past, not for the said boy to end up like him, but he guesses that was too much to expect from himself.
Dazai has long been falling in never ending darkness, yet he feels as though someone has clutched onto him, not letting go.
And as he glances to the side he feels a new found warmth and thinks its fine as long as he's not alone.
***
