I was crossing the threshold when the drugs began to take effect. My vision began to sway and I put a hand on the doorway for support. "Don't worry, Samantha. That's completely normal." I nodded, throwing hair in my eyes. I pushed it out of the way and stumbled into the bare room, collapsing into the plain metal chair in the center of the room. The woman's heels clicked against the floor as she pushed my chair in towards the table. Had she been wearing heels the whole time? I didn't remember the clicking. I jumped as her clipboard banged onto the other side of the table. "I have the machine. You ready?" When did she get the machine? Had she even left the room? "Can you sit up for me, Samantha?" I nodded, pushing my arms against the sides of the chair until I was upright.
"I've never felt this dizzy before." I barely managed to get the slurring words out.
"You're getting older. We had to up your dosage," she murmured. I hadn't ever heard of that before. "You'll feel a slight pinch." I felt almost nothing as she gave me a small shot. "A numbing shot," she clarified. "This one won't hurt at all." I watched as she pushed the needle into my hand, mesmerized as she taped its tube to my skin. I blinked, having to force my eyes open to see that she was now seated across from me in the other chair. How did she move so fast? "Samantha? Are you with me?" I tried to nod, but couldn't tell if my head moved or not. "I know they're strong. I'll try to make this quick, okay?" I think I actually nodded this time. "I know this is going to be tough, but we need to discuss your mom." My mom? I couldn't remember them ever asking about her before. Actually, I was having trouble remembering anything at all. "Do you remember her?"
I knew this drug made it tough to think or do anything, so it was surprising when I answered her. "Who?" I remember suddenly that this drug encouraged it's user to tell the truth. It was difficult to think, let alone think of a lie.
"Your mother, Samantha." It was hard to process what she was saying. When I didn't answer, she continued. "Do you remember your mom?"
"Yes." I waited for her to ask me something else, but she didn't. I looked up to see her looking at me questioningly. Had I said something wrong.
"Please answer me, Samantha. We're only halfway through these questions." Halfway through? "But you haven't asked me anything." I wasn't sure if she could understand me through all my slurring.
"You're just having a tough time remembering. That's completely normal, okay?" She folded her hands in front of her. "I asked if you could tell me what you thought about this picture." I looked down to see there was a picture I had drawn several months before. It was me standing next to a large door.
I tried to ask her why this mattered, but instead found myself answering her question. "It's a doorway." She glanced at her watch and looked back at me. "That's all the questions I'm going to ask, dear, but we're not done." All the questions she was going to ask? That was fast. I noticed the picture was gone. What had happened? "Do you remember what I said about your memory?" I frowned, not answering. My memory? What did she say again? "Samantha, you're about to lose chunks of memory, okay? But I don't want you to worry." She paused, waiting until I made eye contact with her. "I don't want you to panic, understand?" I nodded without thinking about it and she smiled, leaning back in her chair.
"I want you to tell me a story now." I began saying words, but couldn't understand what I was saying. Could she understand me? I had never been asked to tell a story on these drugs before. Everything about this was stranger than usual. I stopped talking and she said something that I couldn't hear her over my heartbeat. What was going on? I found myself calm, choosing not to worry about it. Why wasn't I panicking? I couldn't understand her.
I blinked and she was gone. I scanned the room, trying to see if she was just behind me. She had let her clipboard in the room on the opposite side of the table. How careless. I had a urge to snoop, but repressed it easily. I knew I wasn't focussed enough to read. I blinked again and the machine wasn't hooked up to my arm anymore. I was standing up, too. I instantly lost my balance, falling backwards into a warm wall. I looked up and realized that the wall was a person. I noticed he had on a uniform, but not much else. He was a protector.
The woman was standing in front of me. She spoke slowly and I somehow managed to understand her. "You're going home." She put a needle in my arm, but I didn't feel it. I hoped they'd stop giving me drugs. She was talking again, but I forgot to listen until she had stopped. There was a blackness on the edges of my eyes and it was getting bigger, filling up my vision.I didn't mind at all that I was having trouble seeing, until I couldn't see at all. Was I blind? I felt my body collapse and my eyes close.
