Rant Book

Personal Interests

First of all, I have no idea as to why I'm writing this so... just try to go with it.

Let me just say that people have different personal interests (duh...). Aside from the fact that we are all different and all have differing interests, excuse my redundancy, I actually want to focus on my personal interests and how they fuc*king suck.

They do, ladies and gents.

People like all sorts of interesting sh*it. Such as, learning about the stars and the planets, the fuc*king dinossaurs or just ANYTHING. I know people that find it extremely fun to read books about history, evolution, or even write, etc.

I know people that have interests in so many things that if I asked "Oh what do you like to do?" They could talk for hours.

Unlike me, if someone were to ask me "What do you like to do?" (which obvs people have), I would sh*it myself and cry internally as I try to figure out what the fu*ck to say, because in all honesty:

I HAVE NO INTERESTS.

I don't like anything.

NOTHING.

NADA.

Let me just state my answer to that question:

"Oh...Umm... Well, I actually like to sleep a lot and like... pfff... I don't know?"

Emphasis on the ellipses because they describe me*upside down smiley face emoji*

I could say "Oh i watch a lot of tv shows as well" but then people would probably ask me about something I've never watched before in my life, which, believe me, has happened. I've said it before but it is boring because everyone watched tv shows, or well, a good amount of people.

Or I could also say I read a lot, but they would ask me what type of books do I like, or what are my favorite books and my answer would be a solid "Wattpad". And then I would proceed to explain myself...which would probably lead the person to say: "Oh! Fanfiction!"

lol..nop

well...sometimes

My point is that it is hard for me to describe myself or mention things I like or that make me happy, aside from sleeping and eating (my babies). However, I do like listening to people's interests since I often find them to be more amusing than mine. And, let's just mention the fact that I feed off of people's preferences since mine su*ck as*s.

What really worries me is that I have no passion for anything and that is sad. Sometimes when I go to school concerts or dance recitals or even just a game I can see the passion through people's eyes and that is honestly something I yearn for. This sounds so extra but in all honestly one can tell when someone enjoys doing something and in my case I don't really enjoy doing anything relevant or amusing... It can be said that I enjoy sleeping but it's not the same as enjoying playing an instrument or singing or being good at a sport.

I used to play volleyball and I enjoyed it to some extent but when people asked me what I liked to do somehow volleyball didn't seem like an appropriate answer, I guess that said something about my liking towards the sport.

I've never had anything I'm vastly interested in and it kinda worries me cause even when it came to picking a career to pursue it was an issue. It came to the point where I had to do process of elimination and somehow the only one left was marketing, and I'm still scared that I won't enjoy it or like it once I start college (I'm graduating in less than a week-thank you lord baby jesus).

At this point in life I feel like I've been exposed to enough things to see which path I want to take in life but I HAVE ZERO CLUE. If I were a person with relevant interests then maybe It'll be easier but I happen to be an ordinary girl with an ordinary life and very fuc*king ordinary interests.

I wanted to convey this cause maybe other people feel me (oh i wish) and also because somehow it's okay if you feel like nothing really calls your attention, or at least that's what I tell myself cause at some point in life you'll realize what you really enjoy - that's what I'm hoping for.

Anyway, peace out.. and don't feel like you're the only boring person out there. You're not the only one. WE THE ORDINARY PEOPLE HAVE BRIGHT AND VERY INTERESTING THINGS AHEAD OF US.