Diary of a Love Victim

September 14th, 2011

I woke up this morning, feeling lost inside. I couldn’t seem to contain the thought of being around people again, not since what happened. I checked my alarm clock, what was the point? I have no need to be at school, I have no need to exist...

The house was quiet, silence blew over. I stood in the hallways, thinking of what this house looked like 6 months ago. Full of joy, everyone around, laughter. Now, silence rang. I walked into the kitchen, hearing the pitter patter of my bare feet, echo throughout the house. I grabbed a bowl and poured some cereal into it. I slowly picked up a spoon, my hand shaking; I smashed it into my cereal, and slowly brought it to my face, the crunchy, flaky, rough cluster brushed my lips and then enter my mouth. The crunching of the cereal was the only thing I heard and then, I thought, I was all alone in this world, no one to love me and for me to love. I finished my breakfast and slid the bowl into the dishwasher. I made my way back upstairs and entered the bathroom, switching the light on as I walked in. I stared at my reflection in the mirror and felt like smashing it to pieces. The scars stretched across my face and overlapped at my lips. I opened a draw and rummaged through it till I found my foundation. I plastered it on till the scars were no more, well they stayed there, popping out at random places. I grabbed my toothbrush and toothpaste from the side. I gently squeezed the tube till the toothpaste oozed out onto the brush. I gently started to brush my teeth, the mintiness overtaking the aftertaste of cereal. I washed the brush out and dumped it back into its holder. I looked in the mirror and tried to smile, tried to do funny faces to cheer me up. Nothing changed; I still felt the same inside. I left the bathroom and entered my room to change. I grabbed my black skinny jeans, black ankle boot heels and my grey Superdry hoodie with the hood up and a black leather jacket on top. I slid my hood down and looked at my brown curly hair and frowned. I pulled in back into a messy pony tail and straightened my full fringe. I was ready, I was prepared for what new experiences was going to happen, what people were going to call me, ‘Murderer, Slut, Whore’, all the stories were going to slide over my head, and I would make sure of that...

I made my way to school, listening to ‘Jar of Hearts’ on the way there. It was the only thing I listened to since ‘the accident’. I saw everyone stop and stare at me, I knew what they were thinking, ‘Oh look its Nathan’s murderer, and she killed her own parents!’ Lies, lies, LIES! I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me whole, never to puke me back up again. I finally arrived at school and looked around, hardly anyone was there, maybe because I was early for school and only the geeks turned up at this time. God am I turning into a geek? Please say no! I walked into the school and saw a load of people in the main hallway chattering and gossiping when suddenly, silence fell. I didn’t stop to look, I didn’t stop to shout, I just kept on walking, heels echoing throughout the silence.

I entered an empty hallway; the aroma of bleach and floor waxed filled the air. I stepped in the middle, staring directly to the end of the corridor. I started to walk, my pace quickening at the second. I soon started to run, the clicks of my heels echoing like a bullet. I screeched to a stop and found my locker and opened the door and out popped loads and loads of notes. I sighed and picked them up, one that caught my eye. Most of them were death notes but not this one. ‘Don’t give up hope, you’ll find a place in this world one day, I know you didn’t kill them. EAD'. I looked at it with interest; I quickly stuffed in my pocket and kept it there for encouragement in the future. Suddenly out of nowhere, Diana appeared with her minions. I looked up just so I could see Diana’s fake face. She was pretty, I guess, but not the prettiest, well not with that entire slap on her face. She took a few steps till she was only a breath away.

“Well, well, well. Look what the garbage threw up! Decided to stop by and rub in that you killed my ex-boyfriend?” She spat. I scoffed and walked even closer till I could smell the lip-gloss splattered on her lips.

“Listen here, Diana, I didn’t kill Nathan!” My voice broke at the word, Nathan, “He was a frickin’ psychopath and tried to kill me! And he started the fire, he was the one who tortured my parents then killed them in the fire and chucked himself in also! So don’t blame me for something your psychopathic-evil ‘boyfriend’ did to me! I’ve got the scars to prove how badly he treated me! So go back to your little evil lair and leave me alone!” I screamed at the top of my voice! My throat was stinging and it felt like it was on fire. I still stood my ground till Diana scampered away in her tiny, little skirt and 30 inches heels! Once I knew she had gone, I screamed out in pain and collapsed to the floor. I was violently coughing and retching. I knew it was the injurys from all the cuts burning inside my throat from shouting. I rolled onto my back and was struggling to breath. The light was starting to fade and the only thing going through my mind was the moments Nathan killed my parents and the pain and agony he caused. I felt the world spinning and suddenly fade to black.

“Hello, umm Natalie Shipman, I think that’s how you say it, anyway hello? Anyone there? Ah good, you’ve finally come around. I’m Nurse Gallagher. You’re lucky that this young man found you before you were left in hallway 2A with throat injuries.” She said sweetly. I looked around and noticed I was in the Nurses Office; it was clean; sanitized; well- cared for. A place I felt comfortable in.

“Who, who found me?” I asked, hoarsely. The nurse moved out of the way and I gasped.

“Tom...” I panted with fear. There stood Nathan’s older brother. My deadliest enemy.

“Hello, Cassie...”