no strings attached :: a.i.

05 : remember

The voice felt like stepping on hot concrete with no shoes on. Luke's best friend stood in front of me, smiling from ear to ear. His dark brown hair was pushed into a hair net and glasses covered his chocolate brown eyes. We hadn't spoken since the funeral and I wasn't sure if he knew that I had stopped talking.

"Do you two know each other?" I had forgotten that Kyle was there.

I felt the need to do something, anything to make this less awkward. I quickly turned on my phone and typed as fast as I could, "Kyle this is Thomas Spencer, Thomas this is Kyle Andrews."

Thomas looked at me confused and then his eyes wandered to Kyle's. He looked back and forth between us and I started to worry about what he was thinking.

"Kyle is my new neighbor and he offered to buy me ice cream. I didn't know we were going here and I just met him today," Now it was Kyle's turn to look confused.

Thomas nodded and looked down at his hands before speaking, "I haven't seen you in a while."

"I know, I'm sorry," The voice from my phone showed no emotion. It was times like this that I wanted to talk more than ever. I opened my mouth, willing words to come out. It didn't work and my shoulder's slumped. Kyle looked in between the two of us and made a smart decision.

"Is there a restroom here?"

"Yeah, at the end of that hallway," Thomas whispered, pointing the way.

Kyle left and I didn't move. The parlor was empty except for me and Thomas. You could cut the tension with a knife.

"So, what's up with the phone thing?" He looked up at me and I adverted my eyes.

I looked down at my phone and typed in the words I had so many times before, "I don't talk anymore."

Thomas's eyes started to water, "I'm so sorry."

"It wasn't your fault," my fingers flied across my phone's screen.

"Yes it wa—"

"No. It wasn't your fault Thomas, it was an accident," the automated voice cut him off and he looked me straight in the eye.

"If I had offered to drive then Luke would not have gotten in an accident. I was there in the car and I could have told him that he had swerved out of his lane," Thomas's voice broke. A tear found its way down my cheek and I wiped it away with the back of my hand.

"You were just as drunk as him, it wouldn't have made a difference," I stared at my phone, remembering that night.

"Paris I need you to come to the hospital."

"Thomas, it is one in the morning, what happened?" I was worried, he had been out with Luke.

"Just please come," And with that, he had hung up.

The drive there was agonizing. When I finally made it, I found Thomas sitting in the waiting room, crying into his hands.

"What happened?" I rushed over and sat next to him.

"They don't know if he will make it Paris, it is all my fault," He looked up and I saw that his eyes were blood shot.

I didn't know what to say. 'He' could only be one person, "Luke?"

Thomas put his head back in his hands and I just stared blankly at the wall across the room. How could this be happening? I leaned my head onto Thomas's shoulder and let the tears escape my eyes. I felt his arm wrap around me and we sat there for a long time.

Luke's parents and brothers finally arrived along with several other people I had never seen before, Luke had told me earlier that his cousins were visiting. The nurse finally came out to the waiting room to tell us the outcome. Those four words would change my life dramatically, "He didn't make it."

And that was the end. There were no tears left to cry, no sadness left to be felt. No person left to be loved. The Swindles hugged each other and cried. Thomas had disappeared without me noticing. All that I could do was to get up and leave.

It was the longest drive home. The sun started to appear on the horizon and the streets were empty. My only friends were traffic lights, speaking in mores code.

I rubbed the tears from my eyes and looked up. Thomas was still standing behind the counter staring at his feet. I made my way to the door reading 'employees only' and pushed it open. I walked over next to the boy behind the counter and hugged him. That was all I could do. That was all I needed to do. Thomas hugged me back and we stood there in each other's arms, tears sliding down both of our cheeks. Just like that night. It felt comforting, it felt natural. I miss having friends.

At that moment Kyle came back out of the bathroom. I looked over Thomas's shoulder at him and smiled. I loosened my grip on Thomas's shirt and brought my arms away from his back. Thomas stepped back and then turned to see Kyle.

"So," Thomas sniffed and wiped the tears off of his face. "What can I get for you two?"

I pointed at the vanilla ice cream and he laughed, "I should have guessed," He muttered, "What about you?"

"Um, the mint chocolate chip please," Kyle rocked back and forth on his heels, it was obvious he was uncomfortable.

I made my way back out from behind the counter and stood next to Kyle. We took our ice cream cones and Kyle paid Thomas.

"Well, I guess I'll see you around then Paris?" I nodded and smiled, waving as we exited the parlor. Well that went well, not.

I kicked a rock on the side walk as I licked my ice cream. Today had been a long day, and it had just gotten started.

~~

I may have quoted all time low

my teacher didn't know the difference so shhhhhhh