[26\1\2012]
Some stories don't have an ending, other end without knowing. Mine? I know damn well it hasn't ended. I know life isn’t fair but I haven’t been the bad guy, I know this may be just another test but I’m getting a little sad, I like to be happy in a relationship id like someone that can control me but at the same time understand me, its not easy… it never is but it’s getting annoying that cant get a break. I’ve always had to work hard all but for once id like something easy that wont go easily, I want a chance, I want someone that truly understands me that knows how I feel about everything but also I wouldn’t like to go back to the past, I’ve made my mistakes and I don’t regret any of them ‘cause I’ve learned from them. Who knows maybe this is my destiny to be alone, to just move on, leave everything behind, maybe I was made to be a doctor, maybe I was made to be writer, I don’t know, but I’d like to. I keep myself healthy, sure I don’t go to church but I try to be in contact with you, God every now and then. I don’t believe you exist, I know you exist, I don’t know how or why I just know sometimes there’s just no explanation but I’d like to know why for everything, I’d like to know why it’s always been so hard for me, I rarely take things for granted, I value friendship, I value my family I know why they’re always preoccupied with me and yeah sometimes it may get me mad, but I’d like for someone else to fill that hole in my heart, the one that was left there, the one that hasn’t healed ‘cause loneliness only makes it worst. I know myself I know why I’m chill and it’s because life it’s just too short to care about the aftermath of my actions, I know why choose what I choose I know why I take my decisions I know the consequences. I know myself almost completely I know my likes, dislikes and really I don’t care much about how people are if they stay true to them selves I’ll still love them, they’re my friends and no matter what I’ll be there for them. Their happiness is mine that’s why I try to hide my own worries ‘cuase it’s my burden to carry, no one else’s. I believe I can find happiness in a relation ship, I can find happiness in love and that’s what I want, yeah sometimes it’s hard to get real love specially when some people don’t really deserve it at all… but do I deserve it? Am I worthy of feeling that emotion all over again? I am, which also makes me worthy of suffering for it. Now I can’t promise a perfect relationship, I can’t promise that my stubbornness won’t get you mad, I can’t promise that my carelessness wont get you mad either… but I can promise a smile everyday, I can promise ill be the one that you deserve, I can promise I’ll try my best to not be burden, I can promise that when you need me physically ill be there, I can promise a shoulder for you to cry on, I can promise that everyday that goes by I wont get second thoughts about a relationship with you, I can promise that this isn’t an obsession, I can promise that what I feel in my heart is love and I want to be with you not because I’m alone nor because you’re alone but because when you smile I can’t think of another thing that I want to see, you may not be perfect to other people but to me you have everything I look in a girl. A sweet smile, eyes that I can get lost on, a hair I’ll stroke everyday when you feel tired, you got an attitude that makes me feel like you really care and that no matter how mad at me you get I’m happy that you get that way… but now you barely even speak to me, you don’t even look my way… I want to be your sweetest hello and your hardest good bye. I want to be the one that you run to me when you miss me and hug me so hard I can barely breath and sure you may not have the strength but ill feel the emotion, I want to be missed, I want you to miss me, to call me, to text me, to scream at me, to get mad at me, to get happy for me… I want you to love me as in “I need you right now with me” love I don’t want sex with you I want love with you, I want to take things slowly if necessary, I’ll go at your pace if needed but please just please give me a chance it’s all I ask… God knows and I know I don’t deserve it but I really want a chance I want you to try… A day doesn’t go by that I ask myself what would happen if you gave me a chance just one chance…
