Before you Go

Pulling and tugging me, my eyes blurry. Everything white, thick scent of alcohol. Worst of all that deafening sound, that sound that made me want to climb higher than I could, the sound that made saltwater pour from the sockets of my face, the sound-----

WAKE UP!

"Yes mom I'm up!"
Now why would I need to wake up so early on a Saturday? The fact that my parents didn't leave me home alone to rot in this comfortable wasteland, this place I called a bedroom. Here we go again. My first instinct was the usual thought of sitting in that chair, cornered off in my room, where my laptop and all my gear was.

Who am I? It's always a funny question for someone like me. Noah Alexander Svenson. What the hell does Svenson even mean? When people ask me about myself I give them the same answer over and over.
"I'm your average geek (GEEK not nerd DO NOT MIX THEM UP). I like computers, video games, I don't get out allot."

The irony of it all is that people like me. They love the weird unique attitude. The funny shit I say. "Noah I can imagine you if you were drunk". But in all honesty drinking is against my moral compass. I never fell victim to the party life even though I have all the traits for it. I have two best friends in which one is the drunken king, the other weird but much more social than me. I have a brother, no, brothers who get girls like *snaps finger*. Yet eighteen year old me, is alone, only to watch as his closest friend, Elizabeth Deckerman enjoy life to the fullest. She didn't drink either but she certainly had allot of friends. She was the school's 24 karat ring and I was one of those fake, plastic rings you'd buy for your kid. Beautiful, intelligent, a voice that could resurrect the dead. Her interests were a little more unique. She loved to sing. She lead the school choir numerous times. I even remember once when I was the tech guy for a school concert, I was backstage listening to her. Her voice radiated the halls. Stupid me, not paying attention almost deafened her as the I plugged the cable into the wrong port.

Today was our date. Yes, that angel that had no place living amongst our kind had said yes to the guy with the weird last name. We'd been close friends for almost two years but I never developed the courage to ask her out. Now that she was leaving, I somehow did. I drove up to her house all the way speaking to myself like a delusional psychopath in need of a lobotomy.
"Be yourself, be yourself, be yourself. Ok um, tickets! Where are the tickets? Ok, here they are. Calm down Svenson. She said yes, that counts for something."
The new movie, Keanu had just come out and we were both hyped to see it. Being the complete idiot I am, I was probably going to trip over while walking with her, maybe explode the at feeling of walking around with her, that feeling of not just being friends but possibly something more. When I pulled up she was already outside. Striped long sleeved T-shirt, tight skinny jeans and a necklace which seemed cracked down the middle. I stepped out and our night began.

NO! GET OFF ME. I NEED TO--
The sound almost made my ears bleed, although my soul commenced blood lost since prior.

And then my utter klutzy side returned and I tripped on the walkway.
"Well Noah! You've already fallen for me."
She smiled a snarky smile.
"Was that...did you just make...Unbelievable. Well M'lady, your chariot awaits. I shall make galloping noises to muffle the sound of the engine if you wish."
She smiled once again and approached in a playful skip. She hugged me tightly. I stared at her for a moment and began my natural bullshit quips.
Clears throat* In the most British accent possible*
"Shall we Madam Elise."
My arm stretched out. She grabs it excitingly.
"We shall."
We walked slowly toward the vehicle.
"Ma'am, might I say your outfit looks marvelous tonight."
"Too kind Svenson, too kind indeed. My eyes enjoys the view of your outfit as well."
I wore a tight fitting elbow sleeved shirt with a dark grunge texture, blue jeans and tacky high-tops. I held the door open and she sat down.
"I see I've myself the real gentleman Svenson."
"Yes M'lady, you do."
We both laughed as I made my way to the driver's side.

Why did I feel like this was too good to be true? I wanted to ask if this was real. Is this true? Does she actually like me? My mind is was all over the place but I knew I was overthinking it. Suddenly I heard her voice. 
"you...and I, were like fireflies and symphonies exploding in the sky."
I humored her.
"With you...I'm alive, like all the missing pieces of my heart they finally collide."
"WHOA! Svenson? That voice though!"
"Shut up Deckerman."
As if the universe's goal was to taunt my o-so sucky life the rain began to fall.
"Good-job Noah. Nice, very nice."
"Your're just jealous you can't sing as good as me"
"I'm sure the rain thinks so too Noah."
"Honestly, I've always wanted to run around in the rain. Never got to when I was a kid. I got sick allot so my parents didn't allow me."
Her facial expression changed. She smiled again but this time it wasn't that confident snarky smile. It was different.
"Svenson, stop the car."
"Why?"
"Screw the movie, we are going run like two immature maniacs in the rain."
It seemed nigh odd for me but I did it anyway. She ran out and started to shout and dance.
WOOOOOOO!
"COME ON SVENSON! YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE."
First I stared at her. Who is this girl? She is so... different from the rest. I've had crushes before but she hits all the markers for me. She's...adventurous I'll give her that. I need this, I need that. That spark that she had. My hands opened the door autonomously and I ran jumping as retarded she did.
SPLASH*
"Just in case you didn't bathe before taking me out"
"You little!"
I cupped a large amount of water in my hands and splashed it across her face. She was downed in it. We both were.
The stars pulsated and the light reached through the rain drops onto the damp road surface.
"Elizabeth..."
She was taken up by the sky. Her hair, damp and glowing in the moonlight night.
I stared at her again. She looked so happy. So into everything, all of this, me.
She turned around and her face sad now.
"Elizabeth what-"
She hugged me tightly.
"Shit, Noah."
"Elizabeth, I don't...what's wrong?
Her eyes, a reflection of the sky, saw into mine.
"Noah Svenson."
Her hands, cold and wet lay on my face as she kissed me. Time seemed to stop. Slowly she pulled away and our foreheads stayed touching. She took her necklace. It broke into two. She wrapped it around my neck.
"I swear to god Noah, I'm really going to miss that geeky look on your face."
I could see her tears among the rain. She was crying and I wanted to as well. She showed me exactly what I wanted to see. An adventure, not just some straight path. A way to create my own stories. I hugged her tightly once more as the rain continued to pour down.

The sound again.
BEEP*...BEEP*...BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I gripped the necklace tightly in my hand. It left an indent on my skin. The tears down my face. She knew everything that was going to happen. Her worsening condition. She didn't tell me. Elizabeth Iselin Deckerman committed suicide in the hospital 7 days later before her metastatic treatment.

I eventually realized that she isn't actually here with me. She's not on this road. We're not in the rain kissing anymore. All I actually have is this necklace. Our friendship necklace. I still hear the sound.
BEEEEEEEEEEEEE--*
It radiated through my brain as I walked back to my car and drove away.