My 3rd Fangirl Files Documentary, everyone! This particular one is based on actual events that have occurred at midnight premiers my friends and I have gone to ;)
After that unfortunate incident with the Yaoi Fangirls, I head back to my hotel where I eventually get ready to retire for the night.
but as I'm getting dressed into my fashionable pajamas, I hear some peculiar noises coming out the window.
"TEAM JACOB FOREVER!!!"
"OH @#$% NO!!! THAT DOG?! TEAM EDWARD'S WHERE IT'S AT, GIRL!!!"
At a nearby movie theatre, I see a swarm of people.
and by the sounds of their voices, they seem to populated by bloodthirsty, pubescent high school girls.
I can hear their shrieks and cries as they get one step closer to the front of the entrance.
What an odd ritual this is... I grab my camera and rush over to investigate.
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So this is the night.
The opening of Breaking Dawn part 1.
As I approach the gaggle of giggly girls, I spot something very peculiar.
Among the young females, I see some older women... probably in their mid 40's sitting down playing some sort of board game.
"OH GOSH! WHAT DO I DO?! IF I PLAY THIS CARD I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO HAVE MY HAPPILY EVER AFTER WITH EDWARD!"
"JUST TAKE THE RISK, PAM! IT ALL BEGINS WITH A CHOICE!"
another woman sitting near them sighs deeply and smiles.
"OME. I'D TAKE EDWARD OVER MY HUSBAND ANY DAY..."
these ladies obviously need some serious hel---OOOF!!!
I was suddenly hit with a great force... from a little girl.
"JACOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOB!!!!"
She came blasting down the line of people at full speed carrying a wolf plushie up above her head, screaming and chanting the name of her "mate."
I quickly shrugged it off and headed towards the entrance.
it was 11:50. 10 more minutes until the dream of these fangirls would be achieved.
I quickly ran inside after the girls as they rushed into their designated theatre rooms.
Then I took a seat in the very back row in front of an odd couple.
"OH JOSH! YOU LOOK SOOOO DASHING IN YOUR EDWARD COSTUME!"
A slender blonde grinned widely at the boy sitting next to her.
"Lisa... this is the last time I do this for you..."
"BUT JOSHIE! WE HAVE TO DO THIS EVERY YEAR TOGETHER!!!"
The boy sighed then took out his phone.
The words "HELP" and "ME" were quickly typed onto the screen... probably to a comrade of his.
Poor man. I wouldn't blame him.
Just then, the room went dim and girls all around me started cheering madly.
Preview after preview, they ooo'ed and aww'ed at the new attractions. Especially if it involved a man of very attractive appearance.
Then, it started.
I stood up to get a better view of the action, flipping my camera open to film all of the fangirl moments.
"HEY! SOMETHING'S BLOCKING THE SCREEN!!!"
"GET IT OFF!!! WE'LL MISS THE SCENE WHERE JACOB TAKES OFF HIS SHIRT!!!"
Hmm... wonder what's that all about.
Some other people start to complain about this certain "blocking image."
But then, I look back... The image is me.
And I'm right in front of the movie projector, blocking the screen at the most crucial part for most fangirls.
Countless heads turn back to me, slowly.
"YOU."
"BLOCKED. IT."
"JACOB. SHIRTLESS"
The fangirls' menacing growls grow larger and larger with every word.
They all start stepping closer to me as I clutch my camera in fear.
This was a bad idea... a very bad idea indeed.
"GET HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!!!!!"
Swarms! They're everywhere! Teenage girls start lunging at me, grabbing at my heals and tearing at my clothes.
I'm a goner.
I just know it.
The girls, still sprinting after me are suddenly blocked by the double doors as I come out.
Two security guards hold them closed as their snarling subsides.
I'm saved!
I thank the men and shake their hands.
One of the guards laughed.
"Yeah, sorry about that... those girls can be a bit crazy at times!"
"Yup," the other one said. "Can we check your ticket stub?"
"My... what?" I answered.
"You can't go back out unless you show it to us..."
Dumbfounded, I finally realized that I hadn't even purchased a ticket for this event.
"It was for research! Surely I don't need a ticket for that!"
I chortled nervously as the two security guards stared down at me.
"Tell it to the judge, man."
Both men grabbed my arms and took me to the back room.
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After an unsuccessful trial, I was sent to do community service for a good long time. The place where I pick up trash on the side of the road is near a large stadium-like building. I hear various singers names pop up often. But there's always one of them that comes up the most...
"BIEBER!!! BIEBER!!!"
