My love in letters

A wave of emotions

Gibbs pov: I had missed the smell of salt in the air and the feel of sand under my feet. Visiting Mike in Mexico was something I enjoyed. Most of the time it takes me away from the stress of reality into a paradise free of worry, but not this time. Today marked one year that Jen, Ziva, and Abby had disappeared from NCIS. I blame myself for it all. All the women that I loved have been torn away from me. The worst thing was that it had all been done right under my nose.

Mike was waiting for me when I reached the hut. "How you do'in Probie" he shouted as I approached. I just looked up and smiled. He was wearing a torn up sleeveless shirt and shorts, similar to what I was wearing and held two beers. I dropped my stuff on the sand, took one, and chugged it down. For a while we just stood there and looked out at the ocean. He knew how much guilt I felt about their disappearances and therefore never really pushed the subject which I was thankful for, but today I knew I would have to face the truth. "It's been a year" he said as the waves crashed in the distance. I pretended not to hear him. "I know you can hear me... And I think it's about time you stop lookin' and start putting this whole thing behind you." He said as I sipped the last of my beer. I just looked at him blankly like I did most everyone when they brought up the subject. Over the past year I had made it my personal mission to find them with the help of Tony and McGee,but as more time went by we had to help solve other cases and searching for them was something we did on the side. NCIS just wasn't the same without Abby's hugs, Ziva's cattiness, and Jen bossing me around. I felt lost, but maybe Mike was right. Maybe it is time I start moving on.

Finally Mike went inside and when he did I decided to take a walk. As I walked I let my feet gently touch the water. I wanted so badly to feel at peace, but even when I tried they seemed to still fall into the back of my thoughts. I looked out at the beach in front of me and when I did I saw something shiny. I slowly walked up to it, not sure what it was. As I got closer I realized it was a bottle. At first glance I thought it was empty like someone had just left it there to rot, but when I looked again I realized that there was something inside it. The cork was wedged tightly and my fingers kept slipping, but on my last twist it opened. Out fell three letters and written on the top of each one was either Jenny's Ziva's, or Abby's name. I quickly opened the one addressed to me. So many thoughts ran through my head. Did someone put this here for me to find? Is this real or fake? Was Jen, Ziva, and Abby stuck in a boat somewhere? Were they still alive? That last question hung in mind a little while longer than the rest. After all this time I just assumed that maybe they had passed, but this... This could be prof they are still alive and that my search wasn't for nothing. I slowly began to read.

"My Dearest Jethro,

I miss you my darling, as I always do, but today is especially hard because the ocean has been singing to me, and the song is that our life together. I can almost feel you inside me as I write this letter, and I can smell the scent of sawdust that always reminds me of you. But at this moment these things give me no pleasure. For my sole has died today. I feel sometimes as if the greatest part of who I am is slowly slipping away. I am no longer the strong, confident woman you remember me being. They have broken me.

I am trying though. At night when I am alone, I call for you, and whenever my ache seems to be the greatest, I look to either side of me and remember that I am in fact not alone, but with two strong young women who since have become my sisters.

And I write this letter to you in hope that you will come and rescue me form not only theses evil soles, but myself.

This letter could travel the ocean weeks, months, years, and still not even reach you. But I hope deep down in my heart that it does.

I love you Jethro....I will always love you.

-Jen"

When I finished reading I dropped down to my knees and sobbed. It had been a long time since I had let tears fall, but when they did I felt the all the emotions that came with them. Sadness, confusion, guilt, anger, loss, and despair. But as quick as I had fallen I got back up. I knew that if this was real that they were still alive out there, being held captive. I knew that I had to get to them and keep searching. I will never give up. I looked up at the corner of the paper and there was the date she had written it, May 21. Today was June 10, not even a month.Which means that the boat must have been close when they dropped the bottle. They couldn't be too far from here. I then looked at the two other letters. One was addressed to Tony and the other was addressed to McGee. In my mind I debated wether I should open them or not, but I knew that if they were as personal as the one Jen wrote me, then I should not. It was then I ran with all the energy I had left, back to the hut.