Save me

Everything hurts

Michael's pov

I am tired of everything hurting. So many people in my life left me because I wasn't good enough. My last boyfriend left because I wouldn't have sex with him. I've realized if you don't get attached to something or someone it doesn't hurt as much. Nothing can hurt you, only your own thoughts. I have plenty of thoughts going on in my head. Some darker than others but none of it really matters. Nothing really matters because in the end we're all gonna die.

A little about myself my name is Michael, I'm 17 a senior in high school. My hair is dyed black and I have a lot of tattoos and piercings. Physical pain takes away from emotional pain. You will learn more about me later on but it doesn't matter anyway. I spend most of my time listening to music or hanging out with my band members, Calum and Ashton. Calum plays the bass, Ashton play the drums and I play the guitar. We have been a band since freshman year but we have never found a lead singer. Our band is called Creation. ( creation is from freaks and geeks so I though I would include it) Ashton actually came up with the band name while making a sandwich. Apparently it's all about the creation of a sandwich. It's all one inside joke but people love it. I've know Calum since I was about 5 and I met Ashton freshmen year. He used to be this geeky kid with huge glasses but in sophomore year he turned punk just like the rest of us.

My family life consists of my mom, my dad, and my younger sister Lily who is 14. My parents think I'm a disgrace to the family history because I don't get good grades or wear sweater vests. My sister Lily is the favorite child because she's smart and does whats she is told. School was never for me, I can't sit still for 8 hours of torture. I would rather be listening to All Time Low in my room while eating Burger King. My family just sees me as another waste of space. Ever since I came out to them that I was gay that was the day everything changed. I was viewed as trash my family stopped included me in family activities they basically disowned me. Lily was the only one who didn't mind that I liked boys. To her sexuality doesn't matter. I just wished other people felt that way. I'm so tired of getting treated different because of my sexuality. There is so much hate in the world we live it. When does all this pain end ? I experience pain everyday of my life and it destroys myself esteem. It hurts knowing no one really cares about you; I often wonder what would happen if I just died would anyone care ? But I could never do that to Lily, I couldn't leave her with those assholes.

For only being seventeen I've experienced a ton of pain in my life. I have lost love ones, lost the person I trusted the most and after all that I'm still here hanging on. I guess now I have to explain the one who hurt me most. It started when I was fifteen and I thought I found true love but oh boy I was wrong. I was dating Brad at the time, we would go on cute days and talk about everything. He would surprise me with cute gifts and take me on vacations with his family. When we turned sixteen we were still dating and things were great. I finally gained enough courage to tell him about my past and how I really felt inside. Brad later on would get angry every time I would have a bad day or relapsed. He would throw things at me telling me I'm worthless and a waste of oxygen. The sad part is that I believed him and stayed with him. Till New Years Eve everything crumpled, he wanted to have sex and show me how he could make me feel so good. But I wasn't ready and he didn't understand that. That was the first time he ever hit me, I remember that day like it was yesterday. We broke up that night after he threw me on the road like a piece of trash. Once we got back to school he basically ruined my life by making up rumors and destroying my chance of anything. I trusted him with everything but it was nothing to him. I thought he loved me and actually cared. I have never felt that much pain till that night. I tried to report him to the police but they just gave him a waring. Without the help of my band members I don't think I would be here right now. They saved me when I was drowning and couldn't swim. I just never understood how someone could do something like that to someone. Everything always starts out good but never stays the same. Some times I wish that I could wake up with amnesia and forget everything about my past. But sadly life isn't that nice, life sucks.

I just hope I can find someone who actually cares about me. I'm tired of getting treat like shit by people I thought meant the world to me. I want someone who will lay in my bed with me while eating popcorn watching How I met Your Mother. I want someone who would actual care if I got hurt. I'm waiting for my prince charming to save me from my demons. I am tired of drowning in my thoughts and experiencing pain that never seems to go away. " Everything hurts"