I'm a Work of Art

The Perfect Anger

        Even today, it still horrifies me how I vented my anger and aggravation in such a cruelly pleasing manner. It seemed that the awful day, which was filled with distressing frustrations, just would not end. Throughout the first few classes of the day, I endlessly endured agonizing disappointment and I was forced to wrestle my flaring emotions so that I wouldn't lose my temper in class. While on most days I would be walking proudly through the halls with my chin held high, that day I trudged along slowly with my head tucked in a submissive manner.

The day began with my unreasonable history teacher concluding that my stylized art project that I spent endless hours on deserved a C. I poured my soul into the project and it displayed beauty like no other project with the colors of the rainbow scattered through each hand drawn image and abstract representations of each concept. The shocking information bothered me, but I was still in a fairly optimistic mood going into my next class: math. I was prepared for the test and I was calmly expecting it to be easy just like the past few tests. Unfortunately this was not the case and after the test I was dishearteningly bashing my head against my desk. Seeing how beaten I was, Steven, a friend of mine, came up to talk to me. With a smile on his face, he cheerfully said, "Boy, wasn't that math test easy? And guess what? I got an A on my history project!"

He knew from my dejected facial expressions that I didn't do well on the math test, and I told him earlier about my disappointment with the grade I got on the history project. I forced a wee smile and quickly walked away. The fire in my head blazed with jealousy and anger as I clenched every muscle in my body. At least it was lunch; I could release the steam by playing some basketball with my friends.

Still fuming, I trudged over to the basketball courts. Steven was already there, dancing around the basket joyfully telling others about how he spent less time on the history project and still got a better grade than me. I quickly turned away and spat on the blacktop with disgust. I volunteered to pick teams; I wanted to make sure that Steven wasn't on my team.

The game started and my frustrations continued. I started off dribbling the ball down the court; Steven approached to guard me. I drove to the right, spun to the left and shot the ball. CLANG! The ball ricocheted off the rim. The next play down, Steven scored effortlessly on my defense. He chuckled as he ran passed me.

With ten minutes left in lunch, the game was tied and I was still struggling. Roy, one of Steven's teammates dribbled the ball down court. "You won't get passed me," I growled with a determined smile.

He grinned back and sprinted to my right. I quickly stepped in front of him and used my right hand to swipe at the ball. Roy switched the ball to his left hand and bulleted past me going at full sprint. I knew I was faster than him and chased right after him. Step after step I gained on him, a hungry mountain lion chasing a helpless deer. He quickly glanced over his shoulder and frowned; he knew that I was about to catch him and decided to let me pass him. Slowing down, he spun around so I was again in front of him. I crouched down and held my hands wide in a defensive stance. Trying to bait me to swipe at the ball again, he grinned and stared slyly into my eyes. I was an impatient fish and took the bait. I hastily swatted at the ball with my right hand and he took advantage. Still grinning, he scrambled to the left. He was already midcourt and it would be very difficult to catch him, but I had to. Tightening my body, I dashed after him in desperation. My eyes closed as I swung my arms and moved my feet. I had long, agile strides; I could easily have outrun any cheetah. My foot hit the ground again and again and I could hear the thumping of the basketball growing louder and louder; I was getting closer. I opened my eyes to see his foot land on the three point line, still picking up speed. Now, almost side by side with him, I prepared my left hand to strike the ball, which seemed to beckon to me. Roy didn't seem worried at all and grinned again looking ahead. I heard an irritating chuckle come from ahead; it was Steven and he was setting a screen. Roy and I were running full sprint at the free throw line and Steven was only a few steps away. I had a few milliseconds to make a decision: I could run full speed into him and try to stop Roy from scoring or I could veer around him. Everything slowed down and became a dream. The day flashed before eyes, starting with Steven bragging about his history project and ending with him laughing in my face. One millisecond left before impact. I'm a raging bull about to run into an irritating little boy and I run harder and lower my shoulder. Shocked that I wasn't slowing down, Steven's smirk turned to surprise. His jaw dropped as my shoulder hit his chest. Like a bird being shot midflight, he floated slowly up into the air and instantly hit the ground with a thud. Roy jumped and released the ball. It grew wings and sailed up towards the hoop, but I smacked it out of bounds. Roy, who also had a grudge against Steven, whispered to me with a grin, "Dude that was awesome!"

I turned, looked over my shoulder and whispered back, "It sure felt great, got all my frustration out."

Watching Steven slowly struggle to his feet, I thought about what I had done. I no longer felt frustrated nor did I feel angry. All I felt was a growing sense of guilt, but at the same time satisfaction. It felt good to release myself of all of my anger, but I later apologized. It came as a shock to me how good it felt watching somebody I hated suffer, and at the same time how bad it felt. Through this experience, I learned the positives and negatives of such revenge, would I do it again? Perhaps.

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