Fight Fire with Fire (A Pokemon Fan-Fic)

Ash's Fatal Mentality

Over the past semester, Ash Ketchum had been acing his classes and tests.  His teachers praised him, but he still didn't feel like he deserved it.  He fell deeper into a dark depression, and people started noticing.

"Ash, open the door!"  The raven-haired boy ignored the knocking on his door.  Right now, he didn't want anyone to see him, not like this.  He'd never felt this helpless or worthless in his life.  "G-Go away."  Ash shouted, trying to make it seem like he hadn't been crying.  "Ash, I'm not leaving.  Something's wrong, I know it!"  Dawn shouted again, determined to stay true to her word.  Ash opened the door a little, the pleading look in Dawn's big blue eyes almost breaking his resolve.  "See, I'm fine."  He crossed his arms in a futile attempt to hide the fact that he hadn't been eating.  Dawn frowned, seeing how much the raven's favorite t-shirt hung from his shoulders, not hiding his too-prominent collar bones.  Dawn looked Ash up and down, not believing what she saw.  "Is there a problem?"  Ash asked, not liking the look on the blunette's face.  "I can see your collar bones, Ash.  Don't lie to me."  Dawn said bluntly.  "Is there something going on?"  Ash sighed.  "Dawn, I'm fine, okay?  I'm not a little kid."  He snapped.  "I'm just trying to help you!"  Dawn shouted, crossing her arms.  "Why?  I can take care of myself, and I don't need your help!"  He screamed back.  "Well, maybe I care about you!"  Dawn's eyes widened as she realized what she'd said.  Ash's face grew dark.  "Dawn, leave me alone."  He said coldly.  "But, I-"  "I said leave me alone!"  Ash slammed the door in her face.  He looked himself down in the bathroom mirror.  "The only time I won't feel like this is when I'm dead."  Ash sighed, not hearing the door open.  "Ash?  Is everything alright?"  A soft voice called.  "O-Oh, M-May.  Y-Yeah, I'm fine."  He put on a fake smile.  Ash would never say it, but he like May, a lot.  "Are you sure?  You don't look okay."  May placed a soft hand on Ash's pale cheek, noting the contrast between her skin color and his.  "Y-Yeah."  Ash said, looking down.  "You weigh about as much as I do, don't you?"  She said, knowing right away.  She ran a gentle hand across Ash's neck, and immediately felt his collar bones, along with a few ribs.  "You sure you're okay, Ash?"  May asked again.  The raven nodded.  As soon as May left, he broke down on the floor.  No.  No I'm not alright.  I'm in pain.  I feel worthless, and helpless, and empty inside.  I know I need help.  That's what Ash so desperately wanted to say to everyone.  But his pride kept him from getting the help he needed.  Ash knew the way he was thinking would eventually kill him.  But at this point, he was willing to do anything to stop the voices, and the girl outside his door knew that.  "I can't help you if you don't say anything Ash."  Dawn whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks as she made her way back to her room.

The next day at lunch, Ash tried to hide the way his stomach growled, but failed.  "If you're hungry, why don't you eat?"  May said jokingly.  "I can't."  He mumbled into the sleeves of a worn-out sweatshirt.  "Why not?  You on a diet or something?"  May chuckled, elbowing him lightly.  "I-I guess you could say that."  Ash looked up.  There was free period next.  "I-I'm gonna go to the gym."  He said, standing up.  "I-I'll go with you."  Dawn said, and Ash cringed inside.  When they got to the gym, Ash turned on the treadmill and began running next to Dawn.  About an hour later, Ash had run almost two and a half miles, and didn't show signs of stopping.  "Ash, if you don't slow down, you'll pass out."  Dawn warned, slowing her own speed as she hit the one and a half mile mark.  "I do this almost every day.  About five miles."  Dawn's eyes widened.  "Five miles?"  She stopped his treadmill suddenly.  "Hey, what'd you do that for?"  Dawn slapped him, hard.  "Don't do this, Ash.  Are you trying to kill yourself?"  Ash looked down.  "So what if I am?"  Dawn's eyes watered with hot, angry tears.  She didn't have anything else to say.  "Ash, you don't know-"  "I don't know how many people care about me?  Well, I'll tell you who cares about me: no one."  Dawn looked down and whispered, "I do.  A-And I'd care if one day, you didn't answer the door when I knocked, or the phone when I called.  I'd care if you weren't there to listen to my problems while pushing aside your own, and if you couldn't help me with my homework so I could spend time with you."  Dawn blushed.  "I-I care about you, Ash."  She stepped up to his height, and gently pressed her lips to his.  "When you need me, you know where I am, okay?"  She smiled sadly and placed a hand on Ash's shoulder before walking away, letting Ash see the best damn thing to ever happen to him walk out the door.