June 3, 2016
Gerard's P.O.V
I wake up to nothing but black. It's hot as hell in here. I glance at the clock on my bedside table. Midnight. Fucking great. I'm wide the fuck awake.
Maybe I could go to the barn for a while. My parents are pretty heavy sleepers and I know Mikey won't snitch if I leave. I slip out of the bed, doing my best not to make it squeak, and turn on my lamp. It takes a minute for my eyes to adjust to the light.
When all the purple and orange dots go away and I can see clearly, I take my pajama pants off an put on some baggy jeans. I went to bed wearing an Iron Maiden shirt, so I leave that on. I put all my pillows in a row and throw the comforter over them just in case Ma comes to check on me.
I tip toe to the door and slowly open it. I don't close it all the way, just a small crack is still open. The font door doesn't make any noise, and it's easy to leave. Outside, it's stopped raining and it's eerily quiet. The street lights flicker above me as I walk towards the trees, making things a bit creepy. That's cool, I like creepy.
I'm kind of paranoid once I get to the trees, I'm scared someone's watching me. I shrug it off.
What if Alex is awake? I think. I turn around and was back towards her dorm. I hoist myself up onto the window sill and look inside. I see her cousin sound asleep, but her mattress is still bare and her suitcase is under her window. Shit! She must be in the shower house. I start running as fast as I can towards it. There's probably nothing wrong. She's most likely just avoiding people.
Alex's P.O.V
48 cuts total. All over my arms, stomach and thighs. I put on my boxer shorts and my sports bra. I didn't put on the shirt because it's gray and I don't want blood all over it.
I feel weak and dizzy. Some of the cuts are still bleeding. I'm lying in the middle of the floor. What is Gerard gonna think? Ugh, shit! I hear the door to the building open, followed by deep breaths. I look around. Everything is a blur. I feel my eyelids getting heavy and drooping. Shit.
Gerard's P.O.V
I knock on every bathroom stall. Nothing. I head to the showers. I hear whimpering coming from the last one I'm the row. I try the door, locked.
"Alex!" I yes, banging on the door.
"Gerard?" She says, her voice is low and raspy. "Help!"
"Unlock the door!" I say, pulling on the door knob, like that's gonna fucking help anything.
She doesn't answer. I'm scared and angry. Not angry at her, at me. When she left, I should've followed her. I should've asked when I thought she was crying. I'm such an idiot! I kicked the door in. I didn't know I had the strength to do that.
What I see behind the door is horrific. There's so much blood. Everywhere. The shower, the walls, even the ceiling. Alex is on the floor, full of cuts that are gushing out blood. I feel tears aging my eyes.
"Alex!" I yell and pick her up and hold her like a baby. I walk out if the room and run outside. What do I do? Shit!
Her eyes flutter open. They're full of fear and tears.
"I-I'm so sor-ry!" She sobs. I can't take this, I start crying too.
"Wh-why?" I say.
"Because I hurt you! Back there, in the field! I'm sorry." She whispers.
"No you didn't! I was scared too! I thought we should wait, but I was scared to say that because I thought you would do something like this!" I say.
"I'm just-" her eyes close again. I need to think. I've heard that cold water helps bleeding stop. I bring he back into the room she was in and turn the water on all the way cold. I put her under it and let in soak her. What if it doesn't work? What if she die-no, she won't.
Her chest is rising and falling slowly and her breaths are short and slow. Fuck. I get up and open the cabinet above the sink. I take out a few towels and start to wipe up the blood. All the towels are white. How convenient.
Alex's P.O.V
I can't see or feel anything. Everything is black. Am I dead? What's happening?
All of a sudden, everything is cold and I see a bright light in the distance. I feel odd pains all over my body. My head is pounding and the light grows closer and closer. I feel the rise and fall of my chest and all feeling returns to my body. Everything hurts.
Gerard's P.O.V
I have most of the blood cleaned, all that's left is the small spots on the ceiling. I look at Alex. She's moving a bit. I drop the towel that's in my hands and move closer. Her eyes fly open and she gasps for air.
Alex's P.O.V
"Gerard!" I yell. He's standing above me, he looks so relieved. When did he get here? The last thing I remember before blacking out is crawling out if the shower and getting dressed.
The water falling on me is cold. He gets up and turns it off. "How do you feel?" He asks. I sit up and he lends me a hand.
When I stand, I fall back down to my knees and throw up. "Not too great." I say.
"I see that. You should get back to your dorm." He says. I shake my head.
"Can't do that." I say.
"Why?"
"Why the fuck do you think?" I say, not meaning to sound like such a bitch, even though that's exactly what I am.
"You don't have any long sleeves?" He asks.
"No." I say.
"Okay, why don't you wait in one if the stalls while I clean this up." He says. I nod and crawl to one of the small stalls. I put the toilet seat down and sit on it.
Gerard's P.O.V
When she leaves, I pick up an unused blade out of the trash can. I look at myself in the mirror. Can do arms. Short sleeves. Shit. I pull up my shirt and make three cuts.
They aren't deep. I pulls down my shirt and throw the blade back in the trash and leave the room.
~THIS STORY SUCKS~
~SORRY ABOUT THAT~
~IT GIVES ME SOMETHING TO DO THO~
~I HAVE NO LIFE~
