Until He's Gone

Chapter One

"There's no comfort in the truth; pain is all you'll find."
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I could recall the moment I placed down my pen, brushes, paint and said giggling:

  "Mommy, I'm done drawing your precious face! You look so pretty, probably the prettiest French woman that has ever existed."

In fact, she was beyond pretty. Being a kid, I never thought I could draw my mom so accurately and successfully. I noted her perfectly sculpted cheekbones, her deep attractive hazel eyes, her long curled eyelashes batting at me, her full pink lips, and her golden waves of hair. And I, was just a younger version of her.

  "Mmmmm... Really? I don't think so. You are prettier," she said with a smile.

  "Nah! My mom is gorgeous, and that is why I am too," I said flipping my hair backwards.

  "Okay Lily, you win. Now don't sit and draw me. Go find something better to do darling," she said in a tired tone but with a bright smile on her face.

She packed up her clarinet by the time I've finalized my awesome painting which I thought was far more flawless than what da Vinci had ever drawn.

Of course, mother's clarinet was our companion wherever we went and whatever we did. Its melody had always been soothing and gentle to the ears and soul.

   Mother was washing my red dress when I approached to show her my work. A flush of warmth and love ran through my body as she smiled and hugged me tightly. I wanted nothing but that long passionate hug at that moment, for I loved my mother dearly and I feared losing her.

   Unfortunately, wonderful feelings don't last and wishes are not always granted. My dearest hug came to an end, because it normally should. You can't keep hugging someone forever. I jumped and ran to my room where I placed my drawing in a beautiful frame, kissed it, and hid it under my pillow.

After that, I went back to find out that mom had already gone to the balcony to hang my dresses dry. We had a great day at the ocean that morning. She then came in for a while.

  "Mommy, can I go outside? Perhaps I could help you," I asked her eagerly.

  "No dear, it's not a safe world out there. I've told you before that France is in trouble, haven't I? Don't you remember when I told you about the innocent and oppressed people in this world, and that we shall be kind to them? Always offer a helping hand--"

  "Yeah mom, we talked about that before. Just don't try changing the subject," I interrupted, "You also told me about the snipers, remember? How do you take such a risk?"

She smiled and shook her head.

  "What? If you're brave, then I want to be like you!"

  "No Lily, it's not that I'm braver than you are. However, to me, your life is more important than mine. Besides, I've got some work to do outside," she said nonchalantly.

I frowned at her, but she just smiled and went back to the balcony. I knew it wasn't safe to go out since there were snipers all around our village. They shot every person they saw; guilty or innocent. I was sure the bullets didn't have certain targets or names scribbled on them. I guessed they were for those whose fate was the worse.

  The situations in France weren't safe at all, and people predicted the arising of an upcoming World War II. Besides, I really feared snipers because of the many stories mom would tell me about. Therefore, I sat on a chair as I watched mom nervously and bit my lips.

Mom was smiling and winking at me all the time. I knew she was trying to distract me and ease me from my terror. She held my red dress to hang it dry, when to my fright, I heard a loud shot. A shot that was loud enough to break through the tranquil walls of my mind, echoing, and causing nothing but turmoil and destruction.

She fell to the ground at once. It happened too fast that I couldn't even recall anything. I screamed loudly, with a voice that I'd never thought I possessed, and ran outside to drag her in. I placed her on the sofa after showering her with my innocent tears. She was breathing hardly as she brushed my locks of hair away to stare at my young face.

  "Don't cry sweetie. Your tears are precious. I don't want to see them shed, not even on me," she said losing her breath, "I guess I should've listened to you. Forgive me darling. I love you so much, and I know you've got a great future ahead of you. Let me tell you a secret."

  "What is it mom?" I wept.

  "There's that precious thing everyone seeks finding in this world; it's called happiness. Happiness isn't just a word, it's a feeling. It's a world of emotions that only few people have found. I wanted to help you in your quest to find it, but I'm afraid I won't be able to. Even though that's the case, I know you'll look for it and find it one day. I believe in you Lily. I hope you won't ruin my expectations. Don't let your sadness be a hindrance to your happiness and prosperity. Besides, your father is a great man and he would never leave you alone. He will be there to help you in your quest as long as he can," she said with a courageous smile on her face, but her eyes were filled with tears.

   I felt her heart throbbing and struggling to beat.

  "I -I love y- you ..." I managed to say.

  "I love you more darling," she said in her low but tender voice as she caressed my hair and wiped my tears. "Good luck. I will always be with you."

Silence. "Always," she whispered.

Just then, my father rushed into the room, from nowhere and horrified, to my mother's side. He tried to stop her bleeding, while I couldn't help but burst into tears. I tried to help him by handing him some bandages and medicine. We tried hard, however, in vain. Hospitals were inaccessible at that moment, and hope began drifting away.

  "I'm afraid I'll have to leave you," Mom uttered. Dad burst into tears and kissed her forehead. He held her hands tightly as if urging her to stay, and told her something I couldn't even hear.

  "No mommy--" I lamented. My tears blurred my vision and my little fingers brushed her lovely face for the last time. I didn't know what had happened next, for I fell into deep unconsciousness.

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