(1) A young teenage girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but little old Grandma. The young girl was frantic.
Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, "What are you lining up for, dear?" Not willing to let grandma in on her little secret, the young girl told her that some people were passing out free oranges and that she was lining up for some.
"Mmm, sounds lovely," said Grandma. "I think I'll have some myself," she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, at the end of the line, he was bewildered. "But you're so old... how do you do it?"
Grandma replied, "Oh, it's quite easy, sonny... I just remove my dentures and suck 'em dry!
(2) A couple, recently married, were unhappy with the whole thing... He was unhappy with the hole and she was unhappy with the thing!
(3) Why do people fart?
A. They have cotton balls
(4) A couple decided that the only way to have a quickie while their ten-year- old son was in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and let him give a running report on what was going on in the neighborhood. So the boy stood on the balcony and reported on everything that was happening. "A police car has just called at the Hamilton's' house, the Chandlers are taking delivery of a new wardrobe, and the Mitchell's are having sex." Hearing this, the boy's parents shot bolt upright. "How do you know the Mitchells are having sex?" "Because their kid is standing on the balcony too."
(5) A Chinese man files for divorce
Judge: What's the reason?
Chinese: Me no come, she no come, baby come, how come
Judge: May be side income
(6) Mother to Teenage Daughter : "I think its time that we should talk about SEX."
Daughter : "Yes Mom, What do you want to know ?".
(7) Q: What did one ant say to the other while climbing up Prince Charles' leg?
A: Meet you at the royal ball.
(8) There was a couple. The husbands brother was staying with them. One day when they were sleeping in a bunk bed ( the brother sleeping down and the couple sleeping up to have a quikie ) the husband said to the wife," if you want it hard say TOMATO if you want it soft say LETTUCE ".
The wife says TOMATO LETTUCE TOMATO LETTUCE and this went on for a while. This also woke up the brother who was sleeping down. The brother said ," if you are making sandwich make it carefully, all the mayonnaise are falling on me".
