I was sitting on the bathroom floor, next to the toilet, my hair tied up in a messy ponytail, beads of sweat forming on my unusually white forehead. I had just finished throwing up the contents of my stomach and now i was sat barely mobile, unable to re treat back to my bed. I was sat down there for 30 seconds when the front door flung open, the shouting erupted. It was like this a lot Shane had people over for meetings, he had formed a sort of alliance, normally they would attempt to make their arguments un audible so i wouldn't know what was going on but tonight, tonight things were different. The tone of Shane's voice was feared by the men he was arguments, but for me, for the person who knew him most it was him who was scared. He covered it well but i could tell when he was scared, mainly because he doesn't get scared easily and when he does he will cover it up by making everyone fear him. I was drawn to the conversation easily and every word hung on to me.
"you CANNOT let this happen Drew" a guy with a husky voice shouted at, Drew i guessed
"it's not something i want to happen, Kyle, we pissed them off, shit happens, we either fight or...well, die" Drew answered Kyle, i knew Drew and Kyle quite well, they were Shane's right hand's they always had Shane's back, i didn't take the 'die' seriously, they always threw that in to everything, its always a precaution they took, they always presumed the worse because if they didn't, they were certain it would happen.
"look boys we have to sort this, we are not fighting this or running away, we are taking this head on" Shane's voice of reason spoke up, as much as i despised him he had a way to make people listen, do what he wanted. He didn't run away from danger no matter how much he feared it he would run straight into it.
"They will kill us if we don't run, they will, you know it's true Shane" Kyle spoke out to Shane, who responded by smashing something, my guess it was the vase of roses he had bought home to me last week.
"No, if we run they'll kill our families, we can do this, take them on, protect our families" he said his tone calming down, there was a moment of silence "i have a wife, They will kill my un-born child" he said, tears pricked in my eyes as i cradled my small growing bump, i was only four months but it was obvious i was pregnant.
"right okay we will make a plan, just focus on your family we'll keep you updated" i heard Drew say, There were footsteps and then the front door slammed shut. i slowly got up and splashed my face with water before heading down the stairs. AS i got to the last step i stopped dead in my tracks to a sight i never thought i would see, Shane stood there tears in his eyes. I looked sympathetically at him, i knew he dragged me away from my home, destroyed my life. but in a twisted way i understood why, he did love me even though he knew i had hated him, and these past two years he had looked after me. I walked up to him smiling as i did so, he stretched his hand out towards my stomach
"can i?" he asked, i nodded and he placed his hand on my stomach, at that exact moment the baby kicked "she's strong you know, just like her mother"
"you still think it's a girl" i muttered smiling
"of course i do, she has to be, she will grow up to be like you" he said smiling hand still firmly on my stomach "nothing like me, her daddy" i smiled at him "you know, the one thing that she will always know is no matter what has gone on between us, she will always be loved by both of us, and you'll tell her that everyday" he said tears, again forming in his eyes
"Shane you're speaking like..." i cut myself off, as i put the pieces together "this 'mission' your going on, with the boys, it's suicide, isn't it?" he looked at me as a tear slipped out of my eye
"you just concentrate on our baby, on our..." he stopped to think for a second "Sophia" he said
"You've named her? i like it" i answered "but it doesn't change anything she NEEDS you Shane, i can't raise a baby by myself, you know that" i could tell that this was killing him, and through everything that i have felt about him, death is the one thing i have never wished for in anyone.
"Liv, you have hated me for everything i have done to you, you are still very much in love with Juice, its clear, I love you and I love our daughter so much, this is why i'm doing this, they will come after us and hurt you two if i don't do this" he grabbed my hand and walked me toward the arm chair where i sat down and he knelt in front of me "i never wanted this for you i just, i panicked that night, i didn't want to loose you, and i did for good,now, now i'm redeeming myself, i will let you hate me, you have to hate me once i do this okay?" he said i nodded letting the tear slip, this moment i didn't hate him, i remembered the teenage years when he and i would fool around, for a second i forgot everything he had ever done to me, i cupped his face and crashed my lips to his.
he picked me up by the waist, my stomach wasn't too big so didn't put any barrier between us.
"Let's go lie down" he said as i nodded, we didn't want anything to happen, knowing i would regret it at a later stage. he carried me upstairs and lead me down on the bed, getting on behind me laying his hand on my small growing bump. I must of fallen asleep quickly because the next thing i remember is waking up to Shane gone and someone's voice echoing near me
"Okay, i'll be there soon, be ready for this, say your goodbyes" the voice was Shane, i looked at the alarm clock 12:56 AM i watched Shane pick up a small package and place it in the closet, i must of moved because he spun around to face me "Oh, hey didn't know you were up" he said
"you're leaving aren't you, this is it, isn't it?" i asked him, tears pricking in my eyes
"Hey don't... don't cry" he said holding back his tears, making his way over to me "look okay this is how it goes, you'll stay here until Sophia comes and then you'll head back to the sons, they'll protect you and Soph, you will mend things with them especially Juice, and you'll return to hating me" he smiled as a tear slipped down his cheek "you'll hate me again because this .... this right here is sympathy. you are the best thing for our little girl you know that"
"Shane.." he stopped me and put both hands on my belly, and lent down
"hey baby girl, daddy loves you, but i have to go, you look after your mummy and make sure she tells you how much i love you everyday" He kissed my stomach before looking back to me and cupped my face "I've loved you since day 1, despite everything, i will always, and with love you have to let the person you love be happy, Juice is your happiness" he said before kissing me one last time.
HE got up silently and left the room, tears were streaming down my face, no matter how hard i tried not to feel anything, i did, it happened. But tomorrow, tomorrow it will be normal again, i will hate him again.
YOU ARE READING
SAMCRO Girl
De TodoOlivia teller left at midnight, with the crews most violent member, Shane. Now three years with no contact Olivia turns up at Teller-Morrow automotive with a three week old baby and a revenge plot for the men who murdered her 'beloved'. With so many...
