Dying Dreamer (in one mahusive phase of rewriting)

1. You could call it a gift

1. You could call it a gift.

"A dream has power to poison sleep.  ~Percy Bysshe Shelley"

People call it a gift ;I call it God's poison. The big guy upstairs somehow has a problem with me or at least he did, why would he give me this so called 'gift' if I hadn't done anything to deserve it. And in my defence I hadn't - I was your model daughter, student; girlfriend and friend but now that's all gone. No one talks to me now, it's like I have the plague or something like that.

You see I have the power to dream the future, past and present but I don't get to choose what I see ;I just see it, I'm not given any warning I just see it in a dream. And I bet you're sitting there now saying to yourself "it doesn't sound that bad" but trust me when I say it it isn't a piece of cake seeing the stuff I see in my dreams. I've seen things no one should see in their lifetime and if they have seen something like what I see I pray to God it wont destroy them from the inside out.

When I see something in my dream its hard to ignore it but I cant do anything to stop it or help stop it because I don't know wherever or not its from the past, present or future. And I'm pretty sure that the first one is unchangeable and the second was probably happening when I dreamt it but the last is the hardest because I guess  if I tried hard enough I could stop it but where would I start - I only see the thing happening I've got no clue to the whereabouts of where my dreams take place.

But what makes my sleeping poison a curse is that when I try to get to sleep ( and believe me trying not to sleep never helps, we all need to sleep for a reason) I'm left to think about how I witnessed someone die and I also have to remember its only going to get worse tonight. I don't just witness deaths and murders, in my dreams I see other things like: rape, heart brake, suicide, self harming, greed, plotting, unneeded war, haunting memories of the past, deceit - well you can finish off the picture.

There are a few dreams that you just cant shrug off ,even though I've seen so many you'd think I could just forget them after a while but there are just some you can't forget. It's like trying too forget the first time you saw your crush or lost your first tooth, I just can't forget seeing some of the faces of people who've just found out that they've been lied to their whole life - their eyes filled with so much disappointment and anger. And I guess there are some that you probably wouldn't forget even if you had severe amnesia. But it's the ones that send shivers up your spine are the ones I most want to forget - the face of a killer and their victim, their eyes so much difference in between them but they will always share one thing.... fear. It is something we all have in common because no matter if your a notorious murderer or the most bravest person alive, we all fear something.